Cullen Family Camping Trip
by LeesaM
Summary: Charlie insists Bella go camping with the Cullens in order to acclimate herself with the great outdoors. After all, the Cullens are practically revered in town for their family camping trips, so they must know what they're doing, right? *Post Eclipse
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I know there are quite a few Cullen camping stories out there, but I couldn't help myself - I had to write one. It will be fairly short. Hopefully you all enjoy it. Please remember to review!**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. **

**Chapter 1**

**BPOV**

With graduation behind us, and Victoria no longer a problem, Edward and I were finally enjoying a moment of peace. As we lay across the couch in my father's living room, lazily watching an old Buster Keaton movie, I heard a car door slam outside, signaling Charlie's return home. Edward tensed for a moment, then turned his gaze back on me, a knowing smile stretching across his face. What could Charlie be thinking that was causing Edward so much amusement? This couldn't be good; I sat up, glaring at my beautiful fiancee - I was still trying to adjust to that word - and waited for the axe to fall.

Moments later, Charlie came in, removed his jacket, and wandered into the living room. He wore an expression similar to Edward's - he looked far too smug for there to be any good coming out of whatever situation I was about to be put in. This was strange though - very rarely would _both_ Charlie and Edward find something to be amusing...uh oh. I braced myself as Charlie began to open his mouth.

"So....Bells, I'm going to have to go out of town next weekend. There's a seminar I need to attend in Seattle, and I don't want you staying here by yourself," he said, pausing as his gaze lowered to my hand, which was linked with Edward's. Sure, dad - you mean, you don't want to leave me alone in the house _with Edward _all weekend.

"Anyway, I spoke with Carlisle this morning, and we agreed on the arrangements. You'll be staying with the Cullens for the weekend, alright?" he asked, the smirk reappearing on his face.

Why on earth would I have a problem with that? Was he crazy? Let's see...an entire weekend with Edward, at his house. Nope - I didn't see what he thought I would be objecting to here, yet he looked like the cat that swallowed the canary for some reason. I glanced over at Edward, he was watching me with humor bright in his eyes, looking completely irresistible.

Apparently, Charlie assumed the Cullens would be as strict with our relationship guidelines as he was. He must be feeling so smug because he thought he'd managed to ruin any chance of us being alone while he was gone. He'd probably visited with Carlisle to make sure we'd have constant supervision; little did he know, I already spent every night in Edward's arms. Now I saw the humor in the situation as well, but I didn't want to ruin my dad's moment of contentment - I'd let him think he'd won.

"Ok, dad. That sounds reasonable. I'd be happy to stay with the Cullens for the weekend," I replied. "Alice will be thrilled," I added as an afterthought.

"Yes, I'm sure she will be," Charlie murmured, his eyes sparkling mischievously. That had no doubt been another part of his plan - he knew Alice would keep me busy all weekend, leaving little time for Edward and I to spend together. He might be right about that...I'd just have to deal with Alice later - this would still be the perfect weekend, and I wasn't going to let any worries of my overactive pixie friend's shopping habits cloud my thoughts.

Shortly after that, Charlie disappeared into the kitchen, mumbling something about an empty stomach. That was my cue to get up and start dinner, so I reluctantly pulled myself away from Edward, and followed my dad out of the room to begin the preparations.

After dinner was finished, and Charlie had offered to clean up, I wandered back to the living room, eager to regain my place on the couch next to Edward. He was waiting patiently, and pulled me into his arms, so I could lean up against him.

"You know, Bella...I'm really quite surprised you agreed to his terms without hearing exactly what they entailed," Edward spoke softly into my ear.

"Well, how bad can it really be, Edward? I get to be with _you_, at _your house_, all weekend. Sure, he probably made the 'sleeping arrangements' clear - me in a guestroom - but since you don't technically sleep, I'm sure we'll find a way around that. I assume Alice will be trying to occupy much of my time too, but again, we can always seek Jasper's help there. Charlie is under a misapprehension, that's all - he assumes that we won't have any time alone this way," I finished, feeling satisfied at my cunning ability to thwart my dad's plans.

Edward chuckled quietly, the sound a low rumbling in his chest. "Well, I guess you've figured it all out, haven't you? You're quite diabolical," he added, reaching his hand up to lightly touch the tip of my nose.

"Just because I can't read his mind doesn't mean that I catch on to his plan," I whispered back, giggling.

Edward began trailing his fingertips up my arm very slowly, leaving a trail of fire as they went, then back down, completely making me lose my train of thought. "Oh, I don't think I'll ever underestimate you, Bella...I'm very aware of how clever you are," he murmured, his fingers retracing their blazing path. "There's just one thing...one infinitesimal detail that I'm afraid you may have overlooked in your hasty decision, love," he continued, his tone light.

My eyes rolled as I played along with his silly game; there wasn't a detail that could bother me as long as I got to spend the entire weekend with the man I love. "Really, Edward? What would that be, then?" I asked, indulging him further.

He paused, letting the silence settle around us, before he whispered into my ear. "Well, Bella, you see...Charlie never actually said that we'd be staying _at_ my family's house."

"Of course he did, Edward. He said I would be spending the weekend...." I paused, trying to recall Charlie's exact words.

"He said that you would be spending the weekend _with_ my family. He never said _where_, love. That was merely an assumption on your part," Edward finished my sentence for me as he silently shook with laughter. Wait a minute...

Abruptly, I twisted myself around so that I was looking Edward directly in the eye, almost knocking myself off the couch in the process, which only made him laugh more.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen. What's going on? Where, exactly, are we all going to be this weekend?" I hissed. I should have been more suspicious - Edward hadn't been so smug because he thought Charlie was overlooking something. It'd been because I was the one missing something - something he found to be completely amusing. Crap.

Edward just continued to laugh, the expression on my face only making it worse.

"Tell me, right now! What is going on, Edward?" I urged, starting to panic. Edward reached out, smoothing my hair, trying to calm me. My heart was crashing through my chest, suddenly terrified at the possibilities - an entire weekend in the city shopping? A slumber party marathon of some sort? Becoming a life-size Barbie for Alice, running from store to store, fashion show included? Images of snapping curling irons swam menacingly through my mind, clouding my thoughts; I could feel my eyes glazing over.

"Bella, please...calm down. It's really not that bad," Edward whispered, running his hands down my back. "Everything's going to be fine. You'll see - we're going to have so much fun. We're going camping, love," he added, as if as an afterthought.

As that final sentence left his lips, my fears of crowded malls were dismissed, a new horror taking their place. Did he say camping? He was right - this wasn't at all as bad as I was thinking it would be...it was much, _much_ worse. Slowly, as if in a trance, I turned my attention to the kitchen, where my dad was still cleaning up from dinner - now that made more sense too - he must have felt guilty for tricking me.

"_DAD!!_" I roared, stomping out of the room.

* * *

The rest of the week had gone quickly. I was so consumed with irritation at what was coming this weekend, that days seemed to slip by without my noticing. Perhaps I was overreacting, perhaps not - anyone who knew me at all would know that camping and I do not go together. It was just downright dangerous.

After my tirade with Charlie, Edward and I had left to go to his house for the rest of the evening. Actually, I had stomped out, and Edward had followed, muttering his apologies to Charlie. Later that night, after returning home, I'd made up with Charlie and forgiven him for his deception; he really did have my best interests in mind, after all, which I'd discovered from further discussion with Edward, Carlisle, and even Charlie himself.

It turned out that my dad was simply worried about me. He knew I was an adult, soon to be married, but the idea of me not being under his supervision made him nervous for my well-being. He wanted to be sure that if my car ever broke down, or I decided to take up hiking again, (not likely, but he didn't need to know the real reason I'd had that fixation anyway), and something happened, that I'd be able to take care of myself, and survive. After all, the last time I'd come back from 'hiking,' I'd claimed to have run into giant wolves, I was covered in dirt and blood, and completely panicked.

Everyone in town was aware of the Cullens' inclination to the outdoors; they were always going off on 'family camping trips,' or so everyone thought, including Charlie. If they only knew the truth - most of those 'trips' involved the Cullens lounging around their house, playing video games, reading, or listening to music, hiding from the sun. Sure, they went outside for periods of time, but that usually involved slaughtering a few animals, then returning home,to the comforts of finer living. Of course they did occasionally go on actual outdoor adventures, but those were really just extended hunting trips. Anything the Cullens did on their hunting trips would differ greatly from a human's idea of camping.

It was only natural that Charlie had come to the conclusion that he had. If he had to go away, the weekend would be a perfect time for the Cullens to try to teach me their ways, to influence my chances of survival in the wilderness. The entire irony of the situation was utterly ridiculous.

So here I was, late Thursday afternoon, waiting for Edward to come pick me up. My dad would be leaving tonight for Seattle, so I was to stay at the Cullens tonight, and we'd be leaving early in the morning - to go camping.

It wasn't long before Edward arrived, and I said goodbye to Charlie. As we went to leave, Edward glanced around, inquiring as to where my bags were. Rolling my eyes, I picked up my backpack and made my way to the door.

"Bella, where are the rest of your things? We'll be gone for three days, you know," he pressed, disconcerted.

"I have a pair of jeans, sweat pants, three t-shirts, a sweatshirt, and my toiletries. That's all I need - we're camping, remember?" I replied, casting my gaze slightly in the direction of my father, who was watching our exchange with interest.

Edward nodded, slightly snickering to himself. "Right. Let's go then, shall we? Goodbye Charlie, have a safe trip," he added, leading the way to his car, deftly lifting my backpack from my shoulder as he went.

Once inside the car, I turned to him. "Edward, I know you may not be in tune with the reality of how humans actually camp, but the general idea is to pack lightly."

In response, Edward simply raised his eyebrows. "Well, it's a good thing we're not human, then," he muttered quietly, leaving me perplexed at what was yet to come.

As he pulled into the driveway of his home, I began to take notice of the chaos around me. Emmett's jeep was out of the garage, with an unusual amount of bags and boxes attached to the top of it. What was even more noticeable, was the new monstrosity next to it - a brand new black Hummer. It amazed me that something could actually make the Jeep look small, but it did. Something whirred around it, catching my attention.

"What was -" I began, then stopped mid-sentence, as the whirring ceased, and things became clearer.

"Hi Bella! Aren't you excited? This is going to be spectacular - the best time ever! I had to buy a bigger car so I could fit everything in it, but this way it all works out. I've packed everything you'll need, so don't worry about forgetting anything," Alice exclaimed at an alarming rate, her words running together. She flashed one last smile, and the whirring began again as she flew around the giant SUV, leaping up and down from the roof as she secured a ridiculous amount of luggage to the top.

Shaking my head lightly, I turned back to look at Edward, and our eyes met. "Alice," we both uttered simultaneously, his voice full of humor, mine full of disbelief.

**A/N: Please take time to review, so I know if I should continue with this. Please? I might add, that since I plan on this one being short, I will respond to the amount of reviews - the more I get, the faster I'll update... If there's not much interest - well, why would I want to continue, lol?**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Reviews, everyone - I want more reviews, lol! Thanks to those that did, and I hope this continues to go well. I'm still feeling nervous about this one, so I'll say it again - review please!!**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

**Chapter 2**

**BPOV**

The next morning, I was sitting in the kitchen, eating the breakfast Esme had bought for me, waiting begrudgingly for departure. Edward had spent half the night trying to reassure me that this wasn't going to be nearly as bad as I thought - he was actually convinced we were going to have fun. Another one of his 'human experiences' he thought I should have. Hmph.

The night had been nerve wracking; the entire house was full of activity, as everyone was preparing for the trip. I don't know how I ever managed to calm down enough to sleep - the last thing I remember was Edward humming my lullaby, so I must have drifted off at some point.

Just as soon as I'd managed to fall asleep, I was immediately disturbed when I'd heard a loud, "Beep, beep, beep!" Sitting up abruptly, I'd found that Edward wasn't in the room, so I'd run downstairs to see what could possibly make such an obnoxious noise. As I'd thrown open the front door, I'd seen Alice, standing in the middle of the driveway, throwing various signals to some sort of large delivery truck that was trying to back in - hence the 'beeping noise.' Edward had found me there, staring into the night, bleary eyed, and dumbstruck.

"What's happening? What time is it, Edward?" I'd managed to ask.

"Shhh....it's alright, Bella. It's just a delivery truck. Nothing to worry about," he dismissed easily. "It's two o'clock, you need to be sleeping," he added, turning me in the direction of the stairs.

"Oh. Wait - what are they delivering? Who delivers things at two a.m.? I questioned again, pausing, sensing that something was off.

Edward sighed, realizing I would keep asking questions. "It's a food delivery truck, love."

My eyes readjusted as I listened to his reply. I could see it clearly now - the logo on the side of the truck clearly read '_Schwann's_.'

"What - they ordered an entire truckload of food just for me?!" I exclaimed, shocked. How much did they think I actually ate?

"No, Bella, Esme just wanted to be sure you'd be well-fed on the trip, and Alice found this company on the internet, and said it was the easiest way," he explained quietly. "You really should get your rest, now, love," he said, scooping my up into his arms and carrying me up the stairs.

"Peanut butter and jelly would have been perfectly acceptable," I mumbled, mostly to myself, silently wondering how much this new idea of Alice's had cost.

* * *

Things were no better this morning, as Alice was chasing after each family member with a checklist, making sure everyone had fulfilled the duties she had assigned. I tuned it out; I couldn't understand how a camping trip had gotten so complicated, and I didn't even want to hear the things she'd insisted on being done. Rosalie was hissing menacingly at her to leave her alone, and I hoped Alice got the point before she pushed her too far.

Finally, Edward appeared in the kitchen, grinning, asking if I was ready to go. Emmett was yelling in the background for Alice to get off the top of his Jeep because it was already too full, and Carlisle was rushing through the living room to his office, mumbling something about needing more medical supplies just to be safe.

Unwillingly, I followed Edward out to the Hummer, which we would be riding in with Carlisle, Esme, Alice and Jasper. Emmett and Rosalie would follow in the Jeep; there was so much packed into the back of it, no more than two people could fit anyway. As we began down the driveway, Alice began listing off names of camp songs that we should sing on the way.

"Alright everyone, which should we sing first? _Alice the Camel, Bear Song, Do Your Ears Hang Low?, Froggy, If You're Happy, Old Lady Leary, There's a Hole in the Bucket_....." Alice continued, the list trailing on as I did my best to ignore her. Lists of lyrics were being passed to each occupant of the car. She had obviously done her research, and was trying to follow all the typical human camping rituals. I tried to refuse, but Alice promised to make my weekend more difficult if I didn't play along. Almost instantly, the mood of everyone in the car increased to overly enthusiastic, as Jasper used his talents to help his wife's current mission. We hadn't even arrived yet, and already I was going insane - this would definitely be interesting.

An hour or so later, we seemed to be slowing down. We'd turned off the main road some time ago, and Carlisle had been carefully leading us further into the dense woods. As we approached a clearing, we came to a complete stop. Piling out of the SUV, the last of our lyrics to '_Froggy_,' rang out in the still air.

Emmett and Rosalie were waiting next to their Jeep. "_Damn it_, Rose - they got to sing! I told you that's what we were supposed to be doing. Alice gave me those papers, and some of those songs looked hilarious - we missed out on all the fun!" Emmett whined, crossing his arms.

Rosalie didn't put much into her reply, other them smacking Emmett on the back of his head. "Shut _up_, Emmett. I was _not_ going to sing those ridiculous songs," she hissed.

"Jeez, Rose...it's just music," Emmett muttered back, then skidded away after catching Rosalie's deadly glare.

"So, what do you think?" Edward asked, motioning with his hand to the clearing, much as a game show host would.

"Um, it's nice?" I replied, not quite sure what to say - it was a clearing in the woods. I'd be sleeping here. Without a solid roof over my head, exposed to the elements. What was I supposed to say? The last time I'd spent the night in a tent, things hadn't gone very well, so I can't say my expectations were very high.

Edward told me to wait by the Hummer, as the rest of them began removing the dozens of bags and boxes Alice had secured to the roofs of the vehicles. Rosalie wandered over to me, clearly not wanting to help unpack.

As she leaned up against the side of the SUV, she flicked off an invisible speck of dirt from her sleeve with one of her perfectly manicured nails. "I hope you enjoy this, Bella. I'm not exactly looking forward to living outside for three days," she said somewhat resentfully. "Although, it will be entertaining to see how you fare," she added with a slight smirk. Our relationship had improved, but this situation didn't seem to be helping matters. Great.

Soon enough, Edward came back to collect me. All the boxes and bags were separated into different piles, and he led me over to where we would be putting our tent. All the others were heading over to different piles of their own, and Edward said he had to go check on something, so I started to work on our pile - the least I could do is set up the tent. How hard could it be? I began rifling through the bag that contained the tent and instructions, removing various items, and setting them aside.

The diagram was fairly clear, but the instructions were definitely not. _Pole A goes through loop C, crossing at midpoint with pole D, making sure it stays under the crossing point for poles B and C...... _This was like a foreign language. Sighing loudly, I reached up to rub my temples, when I heard the low chuckle from behind me.

"Would you like some help, love?" Edward asked, doing his best to hold in his laughter at the scene in front of him. "I leave you alone for five minutes, and you manage to turn our tent into some kind of unrecognizable object."

I turned, ready to tell him exactly what I thought of his critique. "Well if you're so great at it, why don't you -" I stopped mid-sentence, completely stunned. I'd been so absorbed in my project that I hadn't noticed anything going on around me. "Five minutes? You were only gone for _five minutes_?" I squeaked, taking in my surroundings.

There were tents all around me. Carlisle and Esme were on the far side of the campground, relaxing in chairs set out in front of their tent, as if they'd been done for hours, each reading a book. There was even some sort of carpet on the ground underneath their chairs.

Emmett and Rosalie were to the right of us, their site complete as well. Emmett was sitting on a beanbag of sorts, playing his Nintendo DS, and Rosalie was flipping listlessly through a fashion magazine. Their tent had a huge orange and white flag streaming from the front of it, with a big "T" on it in, presumably representing Emmett's favorite Tennessee football team.

My disbelieving gaze turned to the left, where I was simply stunned into further silence. Alice and Jasper's side of the campground was by far the largest, apparently with good reason. There were four separate tents there. The first was a rich magenta color, and had a sign above the entrance which read, '_Wardrobe_,' and had glittery silver stars surrounding the letters. The second, a deep blue, held a similar sign that read '_Dressing Room_.' The third, a sparkling emerald green , had a different sign above it - it was much larger, and read, '_Alice & Jasper's House_,' and had tiny hearts drawn all around their names. Jasper was lying in front of this particular tent, looking very comfortable on what appeared to be dozens of oversized pillows, in various shades that coordinated with the other tents. Alice was currently pushing a rack of clothes into the tent labeled '_Wardrobe_.' The fourth tent, a simple white, was labeled '_Bella's Kitchen_,' with little apples drawn around it.

"Bella? Are you alright? Breathe, Bella," Edward urged next to me, shaking my arm gently, snapping me out of my state of shock.

"How on earth did they do all of that in _five minutes_? I know they have vampire speed, but come on - that's just insane," I managed, still lost in the sight before me.

"Well, they would have helped you, but Emmett wouldn't let them - he was having too much fun observing your efforts," Edward chuckled. Sure enough, Emmett was sneaking glances over at us every few seconds, shaking his head in laughter.

How embarrassing. "Hmph. Fine - you set up the stupid tent. I'll be at Alice's house," I added, stomping over the few yards that separated our camp sites. Disgruntled, I threw myself onto the mountain of pillows, while Jasper looked at me sympathetically. Edward's laughter echoed in the silence as he began setting up our site.

Later, after Alice was satisfied with her setup of tents, and Edward rejoined me, we were all lounging around, tossing ideas out for the afternoon's entertainment. I'd voted for staying where we were at and reading, which made everyone roll their eyes. Carlisle was adamant that it should be something _real_ campers did - human campers.

"Well, before we do anything, Bella should see where the food and everything is in case she's hungry," Alice interrupted. She hopped up, eager to show off her work, and dragged me toward the white tent. As we stepped through the entrance, I gasped.

There was a mini-fridge set up on one side, stocked with fresh produce, eggs, and cheese. A small microwave was next to that, as well as a table stacked with paper plates, utensils, and cups. There was a pile of pots and pans off to the side, and what appeared to be an unlimited supply of bottled water, soda, and other various drinks. A small freezer was set alongside the microwave, which contained all the meals they'd purchased from the loud Schwann's truck.

Alice pointed out a chest with a lock on it, explaining that there were assorted cereals, chips, and other snack items in it, but to keep it locked, because of attracting animals. That almost made me laugh - like that would actually be a problem given my company. Well, one thing was clear - I certainly wasn't going to starve.

"Alice? Half of these things need electricity to run, and we're in the middle of nowhere. How are they working?" I asked, confused.

"Silly Bella...they're running off a gas generator. We've got a few of them set up behind this tent - don't you hear the humming sound? We got the quietest ones we could, but we had to have them - there were too many items that require power," Alice explained, as if it were a completely rational part of camping.

"C'mon guys! Hurry up - I want to go canoeing!" Emmett complained loudly from outside.

"Canoeing? I don't think that's a very good idea," I mumbled. I'd probably drown myself, or knock myself out with the paddle. Reluctantly, I followed a very excited Alice back out to join the others.

"Bella, you'll be fine - I don't see anything happening to you, so just be careful, and don't make any last minute decisions," Alice chirped, laughing lightly.

"Don't worry - I wouldn't let anything happen to you, love," Edward murmured softly into my ear, as I reclaimed my place next to him. "So then - are we all decided? Canoeing is our choice?" Everyone nodded eagerly, except for myself and Rosalie, who didn't appear to be looking forward to it either.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!! Here's an update to make your holiday happy. Please remember to review!**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. **

**Chapter 3**

_Previously:_

"_Canoeing? I don't think that's a very good idea," I mumbled. I'd probably drown myself, or knock myself out with the paddle. Reluctantly, I followed a very excited Alice back out to join the others. _

"_Bella, you'll be fine - I don't see anything happening to you, so just be careful, and don't make any last minute decisions," Alice chirped, laughing lightly. _

"_Don't worry - I wouldn't let anything happen to you, love," Edward murmured softly into my ear, as I reclaimed my place next to him. "So then - are we all decided? Canoeing is our choice?" Everyone nodded eagerly, except for myself and Rosalie, who didn't appear to be looking forward to the activity either. _

**BPOV**

"Carlisle, you called ahead and had four canoes delivered down by the dock, right?" Edward asked.

"Yes, they should be there by now," Carlisle reassured him.

"Wait a minute! We can't go until I put Bella in her canoeing outfit," Alice said, dragging me off to the tent labeled '_Wardrobe_.' Why I had even bothered changing out of my pajamas was beyond me - I should have known Alice would make me change for some reason.

Thirty minutes later, we made it out of both the '_Wardrobe_' and '_Dressing Room_' tents somehow. I was a bit dazed - there had been racks of clothes everywhere, and I'd been shoved into many outfits. I'd given up trying to fight them off after a while...even Rosalie had found some humor in being able to control my appearance.

I was sure I looked ridiculous - they'd put me in small jean shorts and a short sleeve button down, khaki colored top, with my hair in two loose braids that each fell forward over my shoulders. There was even a red silk scarf fastened around my neck. I felt like a girl scout, while the two of them looked like they had just stepped out of a trendy magazine - some things never change. Edward tried to ease my mind by telling me how adorable he thought I looked, which helped, but only for a second.

As we were preparing to leave, I hesitated. I had another problem, one I'd been dreading since I'd first heard the words, "we're going camping." Sighing, I prepared myself for the oncoming embarrassment, and went to collect my backpack. Squatting outside to have to pee was definitely going to be humiliating.

Edward looked at me questioningly as I reappeared, my face at least five shades of red. "I have to...have a human moment," I explained in hushed tones, waving the few squares of tissue in my hand. His expression changed to one of comprehension, as he began to smile.

"Bella's gotta go _potty_! It's like having our own giant-sized Betsy Wetsy!" Emmett exclaimed loudly, guffawing, as Rosalie smacked him, and Edward growled. Jasper shuddered and looked at the ground, obviously overwhelmed by my embarrassment.

Carlisle and Esme stood off to the side, smiling comfortingly at me. As if I didn't feel stupid already, now I felt like they were encouraging me - like they were thinking, '_It's ok, just go on and use nature as your bathroom, Bella, it's perfectly normal_.'

Alice began hopping up and down excitedly, as she chanted, "Show her Edward! Show her! Show her, show her, show her!"

If I thought I'd get away, I would have run, but there was no outrunning anyone here. What on earth could they be talking about, and why was Alice so excited about me having to go to the bathroom? What did she think Edward could possibly show me that would help? This was humiliating - I didn't want anyone even thinking about me having to go to the bathroom, and now it had become some great event. Why was everything 'human' so amusing to them? Stupid vampires - stupid camping vampires.

Finally taking pity on me, Edward pulled me to him, slung me over his back, and took off running into the woods. Eventually, he began to slow, and I raised my head from where I'd tucked it into his shoulder. My vision slowly clearing, I blinked repeatedly at the sight in front of me.

It was a very small building, basically, the size of a little storage shed. It was painted in a bright, cheery yellow, (suspiciously similar to the color of Alice's Porsche), and sat up on a small platform, with a couple of steps leading to the doorway. Another sign hung above this doorway - it read, '_Bella's Lavatory_.' Oh my god**. **

Edward slowly lowered me off his back. "I thought you might want a more - private - place to have your human moments... I didn't want you to be embarrassed, so when I realized we would be camping, I came here a couple of nights last week when you were sleeping to work on this. It's made from a kit I found online called a 'Portable Lavatory Building.' The paint and sign are Alice's doing - once she figured out my plan, she insisted on helping," he rolled his eyes. "Go ahead - look inside," he added, his eyes full of anticipation.

In a daze, I somehow made it inside, which revealed a sink and toilet, as well as a counter area that had a mirror installed above it. The counter was full of different soaps, lotions, and bug repellant, as well as a pile of soft washcloths and towels. Normally I'd be mortified that so much thought was put into this particular part of me being human, but suddenly that didn't seem to matter as I compared it to my previous option of the forest floor. I could only imagine Emmett would have run through the woods, pointing out all the various places I'd gone, yelling idiotic things, like, 'Bella owns this part of the forest, she's marked her territory!' No, this was much better - this was heaven.

Back outside, I thanked Edward profusely, but insisted the sign come down. What was with Alice and the signs anyway? He was thrilled he'd made me so happy, and upon questioning him further, he'd explained how his sensitive hearing had allowed him to search the grounds for the waterlines he needed to connect to - there was a public campground off to the east, so he'd been able to tap into the lines that ran from them. He truly was my hero.

Shortly after that, we caught up to the others at the river, where they were setting up the canoes. Emmett looked like he was about to make another one of his comments, but Rosalie smacked him again before he could open his mouth. She was still refusing to go, and had laid out a blanket on the embankment, insisting she would just wait there.

"Aw, c'mon, Rosie! I'll be all alone out there - I won't have any fun," Emmett continued to pout in an effort to coax her into the tiny excuse for a boat with him. "Please? I'll do all the rowing - you won't have to do a thing, babe," he promised, trying to look impressive.

Rosalie was adamant, shaking her head in refusal, while making herself comfortable on her blanket and reopening her fashion magazine. "No way, Em. I'm not getting in that thing with you - I'll bet anything you end up tipping it, and I don't want to spend the rest of my day trying to pick river debris out of my hair, thank you," she replied cooly.

I was trying to rebel against the canoeing too, but after much reassurance from Edward and the others, I tossed my backpack in ahead of me, and cautiously lowered myself into the tin deathtrap. Edward reached out and yanked a bright orange life vest over my head, which only caused Emmett to break into another round of laughter; I couldn't blame him this time.

The trip down the river actually started relatively smoothly. Carlisle and Esme were in the lead, and the rest of us were following, mostly equal with each other. Alice was perched on the front of their canoe, painting her toenails while Jasper rowed, and more than once I saw her eyeing me across the river - thank goodness I wasn't in the same canoe with her, where she could reach _my_ toes. Emmett was messing around with everyone, pretending as though he were going to ram into our boats, rowing himself in circles at times.

"See, Bella? This is relatively painless...and the views are beautiful, aren't they?" Edward motioned to the cliffs and forests surrounding us. "Now, aren't you having even the slightest amount of fun? I might be insulted if you're not," he jokingly added, flashing my favorite crooked smile that always made me melt.

"Well, when you put it _that_ way," I began, smiling back at him. "I guess it's not too bad, I'll admit. Although, I'd feel a lot more useful if you'd let me help," I said, frowning slightly, as Edward chuckled at the idea of him actually needing help.

I had made an effort to pick up an oar when we left the shore, but Edward had immediately taken it and placed it out of reach, claiming it was best not to tempt fate. I would have probably been irritated at that, but it really did look like a lot of work, so I gave in easily.

"Just relax, and enjoy yourself, love," he murmured, still chuckling slightly. Nodding, I decided to take his advice, and took out a book from my backpack to read.

Edward was becoming increasingly annoyed with Emmett; he'd hear Emmett's silent plan to try and scare us by getting too close over and over again, and move to avoid him, which only agitated Emmett. Thankfully, he grew tired of it eventually, and fell back to put his efforts to use on Jasper's canoe, even though Alice kept telling Jasper what Emmett was about to do.

We were now the closest to Carlisle and Esme, who were quietly enjoying their leisurely pace, and the others were right behind us. My back was beginning to hurt from sitting the same way on the tiny seat for too long.

"Bella, are you too uncomfortable? Is there anything I can do, love?" Edward asked, concerned, as I stretched my hands up into the air, still clutching my book, trying to ease some of the tension in my back.

As I turned to reassure him I was fine, I slipped over in my seat just a little; panicking, I reached out to grasp the edges of the canoe, and in my haste, I dropped my book into the water.

Thankful I hadn't caused a major catastrophe, I looked up at Edward, smiling. "Oops," I giggled, as I reached my hand out to retrieve the tattered book.

"Bella _no_!!" Alice screeched.

The boat started to lean at a sharp angle. Crap.

"No, Bella don't - !" Edward had started to say.

"What the - ?" this voice belonged to Emmett.

All three voices mixed together at once, as the canoe abruptly tipped over, and I was dumped into the water headfirst, the force pushing me under, despite the stupid life vest that I wore.

I was only struggling in the water for half a second before a pair of strong, solid arms ensnared my waist, and pulled me to the surface. I was spluttering and confused, but I knew I was safe - Edward was holding me securely, asking me if I was alright. As he murmured reassurances into my ear, he deftly pulled the stupid life vest over my head, threw it far off into the distance, grumbling about it's utter uselessness, as we disbelievingly watched the aftermath of my actions.

Emmett had been right behind us, and when we tipped, he had started to run into our canoe, and reacted by instinctively swerving - _hard_ - to avoid it. Unfortunately, he rammed right into Alice and Jasper's canoe, and the impact tossed their boat right over. In turn, the force of it caused his boat to rock violently, and mistakenly, he jumped up, muttering, "No, no, no, no," just before he went flying over the side into the water. Simply trying to pick up my book had caused some sort of canoe tipping domino effect. All three victims lay floating in the water, staring at me incredulously, until Emmett began roaring with laughter.

"What the _hell_ was that all about?" Emmett asked, between fits of laughter.

"I thought Alice told you not to make any last minute decisions," Edward chuckled softly in my ear, while glaring at Emmett.

"I dropped my book...I didn't know trying to pick it up counted - I'm sorry," I uttered, shamefully shaking my head.

"It's not your fault, Bella - we all know you have coordination issues," Alice politely replied to me, before furiously turning to Emmett. "What the hell were _you_ doing Emmett?! You killed our boat!" Alice yelled back, motioning to the large dent in the side of it, her tiny fists thrashing in the water, as Jasper tried to soothe her.

"Well I _had_ to move - I would have run right into them! Besides, your canoe is fine - we'll just pop that dent right out," Emmett exclaimed, as if it were obvious.

"Right, so instead of bumping into their boat, which they weren't even _in_ anymore, you decide to completely take us out?! Yeah, that makes a lot of sense, Emmett - what did you do, use all the strength you have in that turn?" Alice screeched. "Look - you ruined all of the snacks I brought for Bella - she can't eat them now!" she continued, waving a water-soaked bag she'd dug out of the water as if for clarification.

"Ahem," Carlisle cleared his throat softly. He'd turned their canoe around to come back and get control of the situation. "Bella, are you alright?" he asked. When I nodded in response, he continued. "Alright, Alice, you swim over to Bella and hold onto her while Edward retrieves their canoe. When he returns, you go with them. Jasper, help Emmett right his boat and the two of you get in. I'll tie the other canoe to the back of mine, and we'll repair it when we get back. The turnoff that loops us back around to the dock is coming up to your right, don't forget to take it." He gave one last warning look before he turned them back around and resumed rowing.

We followed his instructions mostly in silence, with the occasional chuckle from Emmett, which was followed by an icy glare from Alice. The remainder of the trip progressed in much the same way, and once I was placed into the boat by Edward, I sat frozen and didn't move an inch, for fear that it would happen all over again.

When we reached the dock, Rosalie glanced lazily up from her magazine, clearly amused by what she saw. All of our expressions were grim as we each climbed out of the canoe, dripping wet, our hair plastered to our faces. Carlisle helped secure the two canoes near his, then went back to his previous task of repairing the damaged one.

"So....Em. What happened out there? Did you all decide to go for a swim?" Rosalie asked, smirking as she picked a stray leaf from his hair.

Emmett sighed, glancing away from her. She'd been so sure his canoe would end up tipping - she was clearly enjoying the moment, and he no longer found the situation to be amusing. "Bella decided to read," he stated flatly, huffing away.

Rosalie looked over at the rest of us curiously; we all just shook our heads silently, and made our way back to the campgrounds.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thank you so much for all of your reviews! Some of the funniest were: Tiggrmommi, who literally had me laughing out loud, Invisible Truths, who actually had a kayaking experience like Bella's canoeing one, and TwiGal, who always quotes her favorite parts. Please, please continue to send those reviews - they really do motivate me to update, so the more I get, the sooner you get a new chapter! (Plus, they make me really happy, so please?)**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. **

**Chapter 4**

_(Previously): _

_When we reached the dock, Rosalie glanced lazily up from her magazine, clearly amused by what she saw. All of our expressions were grim as we each climbed out of the canoe, dripping wet, our hair plastered to our faces. Carlisle helped secure the two canoes near his, then went back to his previous task of repairing the damaged one. _

_"So....Em. What happened out there? Did you all decide to go for a swim?" Rosalie asked, smirking as she picked a stray leaf from his hair. _

_Emmett sighed, glancing away from her. She'd been so sure his canoe would end up tipping, and she was clearly enjoying the moment, and he no longer found the situation to be amusing. "Bella decided to read," he stated flatly, huffing away. _

_Rosalie looked over at the rest of us curiously, and we all just shook our heads silently, and made our way back to the campgrounds. _

**BPOV**

Thankfully, on our way back to camp, Alice suggested we all stop by my Lavatory and clean up. We were even able to wash our hair in the sink; personally, I was getting quite a bit of satisfaction from the fact that even the perfect vampires were in need of human amenities, and more than once I made comments alluding to just that.

Upon returning to the campsite, my stomach had begun growling violently. Esme took it upon herself to prepare my meal, despite my objections. It was done quickly, thanks to all the available resources, and Esme set the meal down in front of me, complete with chopsticks. Alice, grinning proudly at the Chicken Lo Mein dinner from Schwann's, paused, her eyes blurring over. Shaking her head, she promptly got up and replaced with the chopsticks with a fork. I didn't even want to know what she'd 'seen.'

After the canoeing episode, everyone decided it would be best if we just stayed around the campground for the rest of the night. The Cullens had all hunted before we'd left their house, so only Jasper and Emmett went off to find a quick snack, probably just for something to do. When they returned, we were all lounging comfortably around a campfire Edward and Carlisle had built, except for Rosalie - she had gone into their tent, in search of something.

"What would you like to do tonight, love?" Edward asked, absentmindedly playing with a strand of my hair. We'd been enjoying some quiet time, cuddled up in blankets, gazing into the flames.

"Oohhhh....a campfire - we have to tell scary stories!" Emmett exclaimed excitedly before I could respond.

Alice jumped up, clapping her hands excitedly. "Yes - that _will_ be fun!"

At Alice's words, Edward turned his gaze to Jasper, and shook his head. I sighed internally - more silent communication. Jasper merely met Edward's gaze, and rolled his eyes slightly.

"Jasper, you'd better watch it," Edward warned. I decided to ignore what they were arguing about - this happened far too often for it to really concern me anyway, so I returned my thoughts to the newly suggested activity for the night.

"Sure, it'll be fun for those of you that don't have to try and sleep, fighting off nightmares," I grumbled, mostly to myself, even though I knew each one of them heard me. Personally, I wasn't sold on the idea - I'd seen too many horror movies that I'd been terrified of, and wondered just how much this would interfere with my ability to fall asleep tonight. At the same time, I felt that I owed them, after the day's earlier events.

Edward pulled me close, leaning my back against his chest. "I'll help you fall asleep, and I'll always protect you from your nightmares," he whispered softly. That convinced me, so I decided to play along.

Suddenly, Edward paused, became still, then began chuckling quietly. As I raised my eyebrows in question, he held up his hand. "Wait for it..."

"EMMETT!! GET IN HERE RIGHT _NOW_!!" Rosalie roared from inside their tent.

Emmett looked positively bewildered, then he seemed to remember something. Instead of following Rosalie's orders, he scooted closer to Jasper. "Help a brother out, man," he pleaded, causing Jasper to chuckle along with Edward.

"She's_ really_ angry, Emmett. What did you do?" Jasper asked curiously, shaking his head.

"I'm sure you're about to find out," Emmett mumbled irritably in response. Just as soon as the words left his lips, an irate Rosalie appeared in the tent's doorway, holding her favorite sweater out by her fingertips repulsively.

"Can you please tell me _why_," she hissed, "my cashmere sweater, among countless other belongings, are covered in snail slime, Emmett? What possible reason could you have for deciding to make a _snail-home_ in our _tent_?" She continued to glare at him, waiting for some kind of response.

Emmett paused, then carefully smiled at her. "I thought I'd try to make Bella escargot tomorrow?" he offered, apparently deciding humor was the best approach. Wrong.

"EMMETT!!" Rosalie screamed again, shaking her sweater at him.

"Ok! _Ok_ - I found them earlier, after canoeing. One was all by himself, and didn't seem like he could keep up with the others, so I felt bad. What if that was his family? I thought if I brought them back here, they could stay with us - we could protect them. In a confined area, they'd all be able to keep together easier..." he trailed off, now looking unsure of his own argument.

Rosalie slowly walked over to Emmett, still carrying the offensive sweater. She leaned over, close to his ear, and whispered, "I don't care _why_ you tried to adopt the damn snails as pets - you have five minutes to get that slime out of our tent, and remove those - things - and put them back into the woods. Trust me, if you don't, you will be very, _very_ sorry," she hissed, as she draped the slime-covered sweater over her husband's head.

Within a second, Emmett was gone, having disappeared into the tent to clean and remove his new 'pets.' Five minutes later, all was clear, and we waited while a seething Rosalie, and a shameful Emmett, settled in around the fire before resuming our activities.

Emmett gave Rosalie his best puppy dog look. "Sorry, babe," he said, and she seemed to soften slightly.

Known for his storytelling capabilities, Carlisle agreed to go first. He re-told a classic horror story, '_The Vampyre_,' by John Polidori. Given the audience, it almost ended up being comical to us, as we listened to this version of vampirism.

Edward went next, and he chose a classic as well, reciting '_Alone_,' by Edgar Allan Poe, practically verbatim. Of course I'd read this story before, but it still managed to unnerve me a bit. It has such a dark nature, and it was beginning to make me feel nervous.

Picking up on the tension, Jasper chose to go next, and decided to stick with Poe. We listened intently to '_The Pit and the Pendulum_,' and our anxiety began to grow. Jasper seemed to be using his natural talent to help his selection along. By the time he had finished, we were all silent, looking around uneasily, more than a bit cautious of the eerie atmosphere.

Emmett jumped up. "Oohhhh - scary. Alright, time for a _real_ story. Enough of these classic tales - we've heard them all before," Emmett proclaimed, an evil smile spreading across his face. He leaned closer to the fire, the flames casting strange shadows upon his skin, adopting a deep, spooky voice.

Emmett chose one of the stories I hate the most, only because it scares me to death. He chose the stupid urban legend, '_Aren't You Glad You Didn't Turn on the Light?_' When he started speaking, Rosalie stood up, muttering, "Not this one _again_, Emmett." She'd had enough, and dismissed herself back to their tent, saying she'd rather do something else. After a few complaints that she'd miss all the fun, he started his version of the story again.

Suddenly, a huge tremor of terror overwhelmed me, and I screamed, clutching Edward's arms fearfully. Edward flew to his feet, his arms protectively around me, trembling slightly. Esme was hiding behind Carlisle, who was looking around uncertainly, and Alice had hopped into Jasper's lap, curling herself into a tiny ball. Emmett stopped mid-sentence, the same panic coursing through his system, looking around confusedly. Just as quickly, the environment stabilized, and we regained our composure. Edward glared at Jasper accusingly, who merely shrugged.

Emmett continued his story, and not two minutes later, the terror washed over us again, only this time it was twice as intense, and had a much larger impact. I desperately latched onto Edward, screaming again, as he threw me behind him, crouched, looking for trouble, his entire body shaking. Esme squealed and ran into her tent, arms flailing, Carlisle chasing after her. Alice hopped onto Jasper's back and was yelling at him to run. Emmett jumped up, growling fiercely, and took off after an imaginary target, which turned out to be nothing more than a sapling at the edge of the woods, which he completely knocked over upon impact.

Jasper began to chuckle quietly, as he took in the scenario around him.

The panic subsided, and we all began to feel relief before the anger set in. Edward glared at his brother again. "Hilarious, Jasper...hilarious," he seethed. "I warned you not to."

"Jasper Whitlock Hale! That was _not_ funny!" Alice spoke next, her irritation clear. "I didn't think you'd take it so far - you had me terrified!" she concluded, pouting.

Edward began reprimanding Jasper again, while we heard an exasperated sigh come from Carlisle within the confines of their tent.

"We should have known we'd never be able to provide a normal camping experience for Bella with _our_ children," we heard him murmur to Esme.

"Carlisle, I knew that the moment Alice started packing," Esme replied quietly, laughing lightly now that she was calm again.

This broke the rest of our anger, and we all erupted into hysterical laughter, realizing how ridiculous the situation had been.

An hour later, after another trip to the bathroom, as I lay on the giant air mattress that took up most of the interior of our tent, my suspicions were confirmed as I struggled to fall asleep. It wasn't for lack of comfort; Edward had done an excellent job with our tent - almost every surface was covered with something soft and plush. I also found it slightly humorous that in every corner of the tent there were giant piles of heavy, warm blankets.

Sensing my troubles, he reached behind the mattress, and switched on a small, portable CD player. My lullaby filled the tent, and he hummed along with it, running his fingers softly through my hair. Eventually, I drifted off into sleep.

_Hmm... What was that? Was it Edward? _Something was tickling me lightly on the forehead. _I'm trying to sleep, for goodness sake...stop it. It was hard enough falling asleep in the first place, _I thought. I moved my hand up to my face to brush it aside, but my hand only swept through empty air. Well that doesn't make any sense... I tried to ignore it, my mind willing me back to my peaceful slumber. _Ugh. Why won't it stop? What the heck could it be? It's tickling the top of my nose now...moving, almost as if it were crawling_... With sudden clarity, I shot straight up, and let out an ear-piercing scream.

Within an instant, everything around me turned to confetti, and I was surrounded by fierce growling. Frozen in place, I moved my eyes slowly to meet Edward's. He was looking all around, searching for the threat that had alarmed me so. Seeing and sensing nothing, he looked back at me, perplexed.

"Bella?" he questioned warily, kneeling in front of me. "What's wrong? I was only gone for a minute, talking to Carlisle, and you screamed as if you were being murdered."

Feeling a bit sheepish as Carlisle, Esme, Emmett and Rosalie watched from what used to be the front of our tent, I returned my gaze to the mattress, searching for the offender that had caused this incident. Shakily, I raised my finger and pointed to the large, hideous spider that was trying to make a desperate escape across the floor of the had-been tent.

Edward's expression went from concerned to disbelief, then to agitated all within a second. Silently, he stepped over to the spider, and pressed his foot securely down on it, before turning his gaze back to me. "Better?"

I nodded, reaching up to brush the tent scraps out of my hair.

"Perhaps you should go to Alice's tent and sleep there, then. I'll clean this up - there are still some extra tents in the Jeep. Do you think you can avoid anymore dangers for the night?" he asked, somewhat dryly.

"Hmph. I'm not the one that seems to have a tent shredding problem, am I - overreact much? Seems like I recall this happening before," I responded, grabbing my pillow before huffing off. Pausing, I looked around. "Where is Alice anyway?" I asked suspiciously - surely, she could have seen this and helped to prevent a couple of things here.

"Alice got bored, so she and Jasper went to hunt. Oh, and by the way, the last time this happened, I believe there was an actual threat, love...not merely a spider who lost his way," he murmured, trying not to laugh at my antics.

One day down, two to go. This camping trip was going to be the death of me.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Hi everyone! Sorry this took a couple days, but I had a hard time with it. Thanks to _all_ of you that did review - can everyone else try to leave a note too? Thanks!

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.

Chapter 5

Saturday morning, I awoke abruptly, as two icy hands covered my ears, and low growls rumbled from Edward's throat. Blinking, I adjusted my eyes, and met his gaze questioningly.

"Edward? What are you doing?" I asked, disorientated. I was back in our new tent now, covered in mounds of blankets, instead of Alice's - he must have moved me in the middle of the night, after he'd set it up.

He sighed, lowering his hands. Almost immediately, I understood what he'd been trying to spare me from.

Emmett's loud voice boomed into the quiet air. "GOOOOOD MORNING, BELLA SWAN!!" I was reminded of a movie I'd seen on tv - '_Good Morning Vietnam_,' and covered my head with my hands in embarrassment.

Just as soon as Emmett finished, loud, clear music rang out across the campground, and as I recognized the tune, I rolled my eyes, groaning. '_Reveille_,' the traditional trumpet song for camps to play in the morning, was blaring through the thin fabric of our tent.

'_DUN DUN DA DA DUN, DUN DUN DA DA DUN, DUN DUN DA DA DUN, DUN DA DA!'_

Slowly, I moved toward the entrance, and unzipped the flap of our tent. There was a large CD player that proved to be the guilty party, it's speakers pointed directly at us. Eyes narrowed, I looked past the stereo, and saw the conspirators - Alice was sitting around the fire, waving enthusiastically at me, and Emmett was there as well, holding some kind of wireless microphone, clutching his sides as he laughed relentlessly. I guess Alice had forgiven him for the canoe accident.

"Good morning Bella! Wake up!" Alice trilled, as she jumped up at the sight of me. Before she could move any further, I pulled the flap shut, re-zipped it, and fell back on the mattress, huffing.

Edward smiled ruefully at me. "I tried to stop them, love, but it was nearly impossible. I even broke the first two stereos Alice set out, but she just kept finding replacements, and Esme was getting irritated at the mess I was making. I'm sorry, Bella," he said, as he pulled me close to offer comfort. After making sure I was alright, he offered to leave, so that I could dress for the day. Knowing what would happen regardless, I shook my head, and made my way to the food tent in my pajamas.

Sluggishly, I ate my breakfast. Esme had again gone to a great extent to make me happy, cooking eggs and bacon over the fading fire. I found it odd that they were all so comfortable around fire, but I let it go - I was immensely appreciative for Esme's efforts, as the food was incredible.

Edward was back in our new tent, dressing for the day. Alice sat directly across from me, watching me eat my food with a politely repulsed look upon her face - I was still glaring at her, but she didn't seem to notice my irritation. I'd noticed when I'd made my way to breakfast, that Carlisle and Jasper were sitting in the chairs outside Carlisle and Esme's tent, reading the paper. How on earth they'd managed to get the newspaper was beyond me, but seeing how things were going, I'd decided that it was best to leave it alone. Rosalie remained unseen, so I could only imagine she was hiding in her tent.

After a few minutes, Edward appeared, his arm circling around my waist as I finished my meal.

"Any thoughts on what you'd like to do today?" he asked, seemingly innocent.

"Well, if I say that I'd like to just sit around here and read, you're not likely to agree to that, are you? So shouldn't I just ask you what we _are _doing today?" I replied, eyeing him suspiciously.

Edward smiled crookedly. "Well, first of all, your book isn't done drying out, and even after it has, it may not be readable anymore after it's little swim yesterday," he said, feigning seriousness. He'd managed to salvage my book and backpack from the water, but neither were in very good condition now. Thankfully, I'd emptied most of the contents of my backpack into our tent before we'd even gone canoeing.

Sensing my disappointment, Edward chuckled quietly, brushing my jaw with his fingertips. It's really not all that bad, Bella. Today is a new day, and I say we make the most of it," he encouraged.

My eyes rolled toward the sky as I sighed heavily. "Edward. We've been here one day, and so far I've managed to cause a giant canoe accident, and destroy one of the tents - well, actually, that was you," I added sarcastically.

My summary of our trip so far only made Edward laugh more. "Everything will be fine, Bella - I've already checked with Alice," he reassured.

"Right, cause that's entirely foolproof - honestly Edward, do you expect that to make me feel better?" I asked, incredulous. Was he forgetting yesterday entirely?

"Silly Bella, you'll be fine. Just don't make any - " Alice started to say.

"I know - don't make any last minute decisions - got it, thanks," I interrupted irritably. I hadn't slept well, and that whole phrase was beginning to make me so paranoid, I was afraid to even move. "So - tell me then, what's it going to be? What new torture are you going to inflict upon me today, so I can prepare myself for what's to come?"

Edward smiled beautifully. "We're going on a nature walk, love."

My eyes narrowed. Nature walk? That sounded suspiciously like another way to phrase 'hiking.' Would they never learn?

After being dragged back to '_Wardrobe_,' with Alice, and making my morning trip to the bathroom, we gathered together in preparation for our hike. I still couldn't believe we were doing this. Emmett and Rosalie had made peace with one another, and she had reluctantly agreed to join the day's activities. Carlisle and Esme were opting to stay behind; Esme said she would have my lunch ready when we returned. Personally, I think they chose not to go because the canoe incident had opened their eyes to reality.

"Ready, everyone? Let's go!" Alice exclaimed enthusiastically, practically bouncing into the woods, tugging at Jasper's hand, with Emmett and Rosalie following them. Emmett had the sapling that had fallen victim to him the night before in one hand, claiming the tree was now his walking stick. At least he wasn't being wasteful.

Edward took my hand in his, and we went after the others, slowly approaching the slightly worn path through the forest. Before we disappeared completely, I turned and waved at Carlisle and Esme. Who knew what would happen by the next time I saw them?

We'd been walking for about 30 minutes now, keeping a leisurely pace. I had to admit, this really wasn't hiking. We were taking our time, and everyone was pointing out the various trees and plants, trying to see who could recognize them first. It was as if they'd spent half the night studying manuals, and were now having some sort of identification contest. I suppose taking science courses over and over again for decades paid off after all.

Jasper and Alice were still leading; Alice had hopped onto his back some time shortly after departure. Rosalie seemed to be tolerating the activity; Emmett was trying to stay on her good side. At one point, we'd come across a very unusual tree - it's trunk was split, and the limbs were twisted and contorted strangely, making it look like a heart. Alice had pointed out the resemblance, and Emmett had glanced at Rosalie, then darted up the trunk, and carved 'Rosalie & Emmett' into the bark just where the limbs split. She'd looked very pleased.

Edward was being just as wonderful. He was making sure I didn't trip or fall; every time the forest floor became too uneven, or a root threatened me, he would scoop me up against his side, swiftly maneuvering me away from the danger. He had also begun picking every variety of flower we saw, and gathering them in a random bouquet for me, which I was holding in my hand. Each time he handed me a new one, he'd kiss me; this nature walk business was turning out much better than I expected.

When Edward informed me we'd walked about two miles, I was shocked. I hadn't noticed, it had been so enjoyable. The slow pace wasn't tiring, and I was even beginning to feel comfortable in this environment. The only annoyance were the mosquitos - I'd put on bug repellant, but the further we progressed into the forest, the more mosquitos there were. Every time I reached up to smack one away, Edward would glance worriedly at me, but I just dismissed it - I wasn't going to let something so stupid ruin the day I was finally enjoying.

"Bella, are you sure the mosquitos aren't bothering you too much?" Edward asked after another few minutes. I thought I was hiding it fairly well, but I suppose I should have known better. _Smack_.

In response, I just waved my hand, and shook my head. "I'm fine - they're hardly even noticeable, Edward." He didn't look convinced, but thankfully he was distracted a moment later.

"Bella, do you hear that?" Edward asked, smiling down at me. Off in the distance I thought I heard the sound of rushing water - maybe a waterfall?

_Smack_. Nodding, I looked around, my search rendering itself useless. "Is that a waterfall? Where is it, Edward?" I asked eagerly. _Smack_.

He smiled crookedly at me, just before tossing me onto his back, and running off ahead of the others. I heard them as they ran closely behind us, probably happy to abandon the tedious human pace for a bit. As Edward slowed, I raised my head and wondered at the beauty surrounding us. _Smack_.

Across a deep gorge, there was an incredible waterfall, which Edward informed me was around 250 feet high. It was surrounded by lush greenery, and at the bottom of the falls was a large, peaceful pool of water, that branched further out into a swirling white stream. It was amazing. _Double smack_.

Out of the corner of my eye, a beautiful purple flower caught my attention. Edward was gazing at the waterfall, and I was suddenly inspired. Taking a note from his book, I turned and leaned over to pick the tiny treasure for Edward. As I moved, the toe of my shoe caught on a rock I hadn't noticed, and I started to tumble over. Edward reacted quickly, and caught me securely in his arms before I could hit the ground. He looked at me incredulously, and motioned to the forest floor, suggesting we sit while we enjoy the view so we could avoid that situation again. I lowered myself to the ground carefully, and looking into his eyes, I began to laugh at the hilarity of it all.

"Edward, I can't believe I almost fell over _again_ - it's like a curse," I managed, my laughter increasing as I thought how ridiculous it was. _Smack_. After all, that had to have been the twentieth time he'd had to catch me today. The others, who were nearby, all joined in my laughter, including Rosalie. _Smack_. The lighthearted moment had me gasping for breath, laughing so hard my sides ached, so I threw myself back, laying against the ground, enjoying the silly moment - I couldn't believe I was actually having fun.

It wasn't until I noticed everyone else had grown incredibly quiet that my laughter slowed. Wondering what had happened, I picked my head off the ground slightly, so that I could look into Edward's eyes. He looked positively ill with concern.

"What? What's wrong?" I asked, instantly paranoid. _Smack_. Was there a snake in my hair or something? Oh no, not another spider? _Smack_.

Edward hesitated, as if he were struggling over something, then simply offered me his hand. He pulling me up to a sitting position again, and scooted me closer to him. His eyes shifted towards the ground behind me for a moment, and I looked back, worried, but I didn't see anything except for the leaves and plants. _Smack_. Shaking his head, he pushed my hair over my shoulder.

"Nothing, Bella, it's nothing. Don't worry, everything's fine," he continued, his gaze settling on Alice, who paused, then nodded her tiny head, which made Edward cringe in turn. Did I even want to know what disaster I'd avoided now? Probably not. _Smack_. Ignore the mosquitos, just ignore them...was there standing water around here or _what_? They're practically swarming now. No, just ignore them...

It could be everyone got so quiet because I'd been laughing a little _too_ much, and they were questioning my sanity. Trying to appear normal -_smack_- I leaned back against Edward and tried to appreciate the view again. Emmett kept giggling, and whenever I looked at him, he'd turn away quickly, returning his attention to Rosalie, who was starting to look irritated with him again.

Not long after that, we got up to continue our hike. As we moved ahead, they all started their identification game again, and we settled back into the slow pace from before. At least they weren't acting so strange anymore. Edward pointed out various plants and flowers, and watched my steps so I wouldn't fall. _Smack_. _Double smack_. Jeez, these damn mosquitos were starting to irritate the hell out of me.

"Hey, Bella!" Emmett exclaimed, running back to where Edward and I were. He held up a plant in front of me, as Edward began growling. "Do you know what this is?" he asked seriously, the corners of his mouth fighting to remain straight. _Smack_.

"Um, no...what?" I asked, confused. _Smack_.

"Well - " Emmett began, but Edward cut him off.

"It's just a plant, Emmett - get out of here," Edward growled, which made Emmett laugh even more.

"Whatever - let me know when you figure it out, Bella!" Emmett chuckled over his shoulder, as he tossed it aside, rejoining Rosalie.

I was about to ask Edward what Emmett's issue was, when suddenly - _smack. Smack. Smack. Smack. Double smack. Triple smack_. That's it. "AAAGGGHHHH! Stupid, filthy, disgusting bloodsuckers, leave me alone!!" I screeched, smacking almost every square inch of my body as seemingly tons of mosquitos all chose to bite at the same time.

Five pairs of golden eyes stood frozen in disbelief, eyebrows raised, stunned.

"Nice," Rosalie muttered.

"Mosquitos, guys, I meant the mosquitos..." I trailed off, feeling rather ashamed. As Emmett's laugh started to boom, I stomped past them, ready for the hike to be over, and to return to the refuge of our cushiony, over-stuffed tent.

We made it back to the campsite in record time; Edward had taken pity on me and ran me back so that I could escape the annoying insects. He had asked why I didn't just say something sooner, and I told him the truth - I'd honestly been having fun, and I didn't want the damn things to ruin it. He'd smiled at that, and handed me one last flower, which I greedily took, knowing what would follow. His kiss made me forget everything else.

One look at me, and Carlisle had directed Alice to take me to my lavatory straight away to help with my bites. As she reached in her bag to unload supplies, I'd begun to question her treatment plan. The rubbing alcohol, I'd understood. When Alice got the scotch tape out, however, I had to draw the line.

"What the heck is that for?" I asked warily, as she began tearing tiny squares off at an inhuman pace.

"To stop the itching, Bella - it will make it go almost entirely away, and after a few hours, removing it will also remove some of the toxins that cause the itch," she replied knowledgeably.

"Oh." Well that's a new one. I wonder how Carlisle came up with that theory.

"Although...." she began, then stopped, glancing at me attentively.

"What? What, Alice?" I asked, wondering why she hadn't finished her sentence.

"Never mind, Bella - besides, if I don't get you back soon, Esme will be upset - she's been waiting to make you lunch."

As promised, when Alice and I got back, Esme had a freshly microwaved portion of Chicken Enchiladas, which I practically inhaled. Maybe I'd have to look into this Schwann's company for Charlie after Edward and I were married. Edward sat across from me, repeatedly asking how I was feeling. After the third time, I just rolled my eyes at him - they were just mosquito bites, after all, and the stupid tape was actually helping.

It was only the middle of the afternoon, but after the day's events, I decided to take a much needed nap. Squirming my scotch tape covered body underneath the ton of blankets Edward kept piling on me, I could only hope things would get better after some rest.

A/N: So....it would appear that Bella made it through hiking plagued only by mosquitos...hmm. Are we sure? Please review!


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Thanks to all of you for your awesome reviews!! Thank you! Sorry this one took a few days, I was kinda stuck.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.

_Previously: _

_It was only the middle of the afternoon, but after the day's events, I decided to take a much needed nap. Squirming my scotch tape covered body underneath the ton of blankets Edward kept piling on me, I could only hope things would get better after some rest. _

**Chapter 6**

"When is she going to wake up? We've been waiting for half an hour now - it's supposed to be just a nap," an impatient voice hissed.

"Well, thanks to you, she's already waking up, and she'll be fully alert in about a minute," another whisper replied.

Hesitantly, I cracked an eye open to assess the situation. Two wide, golden orbs blinked back at me, only about an inch from my face, making me jump back under the blankets in surprise.

"Told you," Alice said, her laugh tinkling through the air.

"Where's Edward?" I asked from under the covers.

"The boys went hunting, so it's girl time!" Alice exclaimed, ripping the covers from my body.

Rosalie sat in the corner, perched on top of a hefty stack of blankets, her laptop balanced on a pile of pillows, nails clicking impatiently against the edge of the computer.

"Hmph. What exactly is this going to involve?" I asked, knowing it wouldn't be good.

"Well...I thought we could start with manicures, then move onto hair - yours could definitely use some work, Bella. Then we can try on lots of different clothes for fun!" Alice exclaimed, proud of herself for packing an entire mall's worth of outfits.

"Fine - we might as well get started. The sooner we begin, the sooner it will be over," I replied, dreading the process. I fought off the remaining blankets I was lying on as they tried to cling to the tape that still covered most of my body.

"Yay! I love camping!" Alice squealed, hopping up and down while clapping her hands. Rosalie simply sighed.

The three of us moved to Alice's tent, where she'd set out an assortment of nail polish, hair pins, and cordless curling irons. I sat down silently, and waited for them to pounce.

"Bella? Are you really not having any fun at all? Has the entire trip been that awful?" Alice asked quietly, gazing at me in concern.

"Well...I have enjoyed _parts_ of it...I guess I just feel ridiculous, mostly. I mean, look at all the things that have happened here. I guess I'm just embarrassed at how much humor everyone gets from my very existence sometimes," I sighed.

"Oh Bella...I'm sorry. We didn't mean to make you feel bad. We weren't laughing at _you_ - ok - maybe Emmett has laughed at you, but in all fairness, look at how much we laugh at him, right Rosalie?" Rosalie rolled her eyes, nodding in agreement. "He just does so many stupid things! It's just the situations that can be somewhat...humorous. We love you, Bella, so please don't be upset, ok?" Alice pleaded; she looked so sincere.

"Alright, alright - it's ok. So, when the heck does this tape come off, anyway?" I asked, picking at the squares on my calves. When I didn't get a response, I glanced up. "Alice?"

Rosalie and I waited for Alice to snap out of the vision she was having. After a moment, she lightly shook her head, then clapped her hands together. "Excellent," she hissed, her eyes gleaming. "You know, Bella...I think I might just have a way to make you feel even better, to maybe even up the score, if you will," she laughed lightly.

Alice explained how she had seen that the guys were going back to the cliffs where the waterfall was to cliff dive and swim.

"Cliff diving? Are you freaking kidding me? After all the slack I caught from it, Edward's just going to throw himself over the edge, and think it's fine?" I huffed, fairly annoyed at the injustice. Suddenly, the vampires had something in common with the werewolves - who knew? Maybe they could form a club.

"Well, he _is_ a vampire, Bella - much less risk for him to do it, silly. He'll be fine. Anyway, we're going to have some fun with them," Alice continued. She told us her plan to sneak up to the falls, and steal the clothes they'd left up at the top, and leave them with ridiculous replacements. "It'll have to be you that actually takes them, Bella - they'll be far enough down that they won't smell you, and Edward can't hear your thoughts. We'll run you close, but you'll have to go the rest of the way by yourself. Don't worry - it will work, and nothing will happen to you, as long as you're careful," she added, as she gave me a warning glance.

"I'll pay more attention than I ever have before - I'll watch every single step I take, Alice," I laughed; it was exciting to think I'd finally be getting some revenge.

About ten minutes later, we were back in the woods, having retraced our earlier path. Alice slowed, and I carefully lowered myself to the ground - she's carried me on her back as we'd run. "Ok, Bella - are you ready?" she asked.

Nodding in response, I remove the bag on my back that Alice had packed. She pointed me in the right direction, and warned me to be careful, _again_. I paid close attention to everything - there was no way I was going to mess this up. I made sure to put each item in exactly the right place, so each of them would put on the appropriate item. After I completed my mission, I hurried back to Alice and Rosalie, who were impatiently waiting. I hopped back up on Alice's back, and we made it back to the campsite in record time. We went to the food tent, so that I could get a drink, and once we sat down, we all erupted in laughter.

"This is going to be so funny! Wait - what if they just refuse to wear them? It's not like they'll get cold without shirts," I said, suddenly worried I wouldn't get to see our results.

"Bella - there is _no way _Edward will walk around in front of you without a shirt, not to mention let his brothers - he'll insist they wear them," Alice laughed. "Now that we've cheered you up, let's get back to work! Rosalie, will you go get the back-up makeup bag I left in the Jeep?" she asked.

"Sure, Alice. I wonder where the keys are...I'll bet they're in Emmett's jacket," Rosalie answered, smiling. She was excited about our scheme too, and wanted to get Emmett back for the whole snail incident. Looking around, she noticed his jacket lying on the bean bag outside their tent, and went to retrieve it.

When I was playing with my bottle of water, Rosalie started digging through the pockets, muttering something to herself. Curious, I kept watching as I took a huge gulp of water. Suddenly, she threw Emmett's jacket across the campsite, arms thrashing, screaming.

"EMMETT!! _What the hell _- DAMN IT!!" she roared, scaring the heck out of me.

I jumped up, smacking my wrist hard on the underside of the table, while trying to regain my equilibrium. The water in the bottle sloshed all over me, and I immediately started choking. The splash of the cold water shocked me, and I lost my balance and began falling sideways, toward a metal pole supporting part of the tent.

As soon as it'd started, I'd heard a small dainty sigh, which was followed a tinkling, "_Oh, no_," before I felt the strong, tiny arms encase me. I was tumbling across the ground, completely protected by steel, which appeared to be muttering about 'people randomly freaking out about stupid things.'

When the motion stopped, and I could focus, I looked up into Alice's eyes. "Thanks for that, Alice," I murmured, feeling ridiculous once again.

"Sure, Bella. This one wasn't really your fault anyway - Rosalie freaked out, and she scared you - your natural inclination to defy gravity was within reason this time," Alice laughed, helping me up. Almost instantly, our gaze focused back on Rosalie, who was fuming.

"What happened, Alice?" I whispered, afraid to ask Rosalie herself.

"It seems Emmett was collecting salamanders, and keeping them in his jacket pocket," Alice whispered back, watching Rosalie warily.

"Salamanders? What's up with him? Didn't he learn anything after the snail episode?" I asked incredulously.

"Well, he didn't have them inside the tent, at least," Alice chuckled.

"What happened here?" Carlisle's voice interrupted. He and Esme had been out on a walk, and had just returned.

"_Emmett_," Rosalie simply hissed.

"Rosalie scared Bella by freaking out, and she fell - she was going to crack her head off of that pole, but I stopped her in time. She would have needed four stitches. Thankfully, I think all she needs now is for you to look at her wrist - she hit it pretty hard, but it was far better than the alternative," Alice replied.

"Ah. Well then, Bella, why don't you follow me?" Carlisle said, chuckling. Dazedly, I obeyed, still shocked over Alice's assessment of the situation. We rounded the back of the food tent, where a large trunk sat outside near the generators. He unhitched the latches, and opened the top, revealing it's contents. I gasped.

Within the massive trunk were tons upon tons of medical supplies. Everything from pills to crutches was packed in there. "Alright, wrist injury," he said quietly, moving bins aside, looking for something. As I stood staring in silence, I noticed various labels within the giant chest.

'_Nu Gauze,' 'Hernia Belts,' 'Ankle braces( with velcro and without),' 'Liquid Bandages for minor cuts,' 'Post Surgery (For Draining Wounds)_'...it was endless.

Carlisle seemed to catch on. "Bella, I was just being overcautious - I wanted to make sure we'd have anything we might need, in case of an emergency. Obviously, it was unnecessary - you haven't had any serious injuries at all," he tried to reassure me. He tenderly looked over my wrist, and assessed that it was just a slight sprain. Within minutes, he'd wrapped it up in some gauze, just to keep it secure, and prevent me from hurting it more. After I'd thanked him, I went back out front.

Esme asked if she could get me anything, which I declined, thanking her. After I got back to Alice's tent, I entered cautiously, wondering what Rosalie's mood was like now. The two of them were sitting in silence, Alice playing with the bottles of polish, and Rosalie studying her computer again. Alice informed me it was time to remove all the tape, which made me feel relieved - it was annoying to have on. Eventually, after a few moments, Alice tried to test the waters with Rosalie.

"So...Rosalie, what do you think we should do when the guys get back?" she asked warily, probably hoping she didn't set Rosalie off again. It didn't work.

"When they get back, I'm going to have a little talk with Emmett," Rosalie hissed. Suddenly, she snapped her laptop closed, and looked up at us. "You know what? Get in the Jeep. We're going for a nice, leisurely drive."

Alice paused, her eyes glazing over. "Excellent," she whispered as she jumped up.

"What are you guys talking about? Where are we driving to?" I asked, completely confused.

"Just do it, Bella. You'll see," Alice whispered.

We all filed out of the tent, and made our way to the Jeep. Carlisle and Esme glanced up at us curiously.

"Just going for a little drive - we thought showing Bella nature from within the confines of a vehicle might be a better approach for the afternoon," Alice trilled. Carlisle and Esme smiled, and told us to have fun.

As soon as we were out of sight, Rosalie pressed firmly down on the gas pedal, and we took off at an alarming rate. She was worse than Edward. "Ok, what's going on?" I asked, clutching the sides of the seat. Clearly we weren't driving around to see nature - we were going to fast to see _anything_.

"Kingston. I've had enough of this outdoors crap, and I need a break," Rosalie replied.

"Kingston? How are we going to make it and get back at a reasonable time? What's there anyway?" I continued my interrogation.

"Actually, our campgrounds were already an hour away from Forks - an hour in the right direction, too. That makes Kingston only about an hour and a half away, which, with the way Rosalie drives, makes it only about a thirty minute trip. No problem - it's only one o'clock now, so we'll be back before it's even five," Alice informed me. "We'll probably even beat the guys back."

"Oh...well, what's there? You didn't tell me that," I reminded them.

"The nicest hotel I could find within a hundred mile radius - I searched online," Rosalie answered. "We're checking in for a couple of hours, and enjoying the luxury of the indoors."

Dumbfounded, I sat back in my seat and tried to process that. We were driving all the way to another city so that we could check into a hotel for a couple of hours, feel refreshed, and then go back to our campground. All because Rosalie had found salamanders in Emmett's jacket and snapped. Wow.

Sure enough, about thirty minutes later, we pulled up to Hotel Deca, and hopped out as the valet driver took the keys. Of course he openly gawked at Rosalie and Alice, while I stumbled along, feeling completely insignificant next to them, as usual. It's a good thing I was used to it.

Rosalie worked her magic, and we were now lounging quite comfortably in the nicest suite they had. It was an incredible hotel, with an Art Deco-style decor. The bathroom of the suite was amazing - it had glass countertops, double sinks, a huge soaking tub, and a beautiful separate shower. Each of us had taken long, hot showers, and Alice ordered me every dessert item on the room service menu. The three of us were watching an old movie on the giant tv, lying across the giant bed, all clad in the brand new, soft, plush white robes the hotel provided.

"Now this is much better," Rosalie murmured, her mood much lighter.

"Yes, like I said before, I love camping," Alice agreed.

"Alice, your idea of camping is completely off-base, and more than a little bizarre," I replied, taking a bite out of a chocolate covered strawberry. "I like it," I added, smiling at her.

After two hours had passed, and we'd enjoyed every luxury we could think of, Alice announced it was time to leave if we wanted to get back before the guys, so we did. The drive back was short, again only about thirty minutes. It was just approaching four o'clock when we pulled in, alerting Carlisle and Esme of our return.

"Did you girls have fun? Did you see anything good?" Esme asked, happy to have us back.

"Oh yes...we saw lots of stuff. It was _beautiful_," Alice answered, trying to keep a straight face. I felt bad about the fact that they thought we'd been driving around through the mountains, so I kept my mouth shut.

"Oh! They're almost here," Alice whispered, urging us to take our places around the campfire to fully reap the benefits of our previous efforts. We waited in silence, gazing intently into the trees.

About two minutes later, Edward, Jasper, and Emmett all appeared at the campsite's edge, all looking quite surly. All three of us started laughing hysterically at the sight of their new wardrobe. We'd replaced their shirts with three new tees - Jasper's read, '_I shop a lot but I've still got nothing to wear_,' Edward's read, '_Warning: Contains Bitterness and Resentment,' _and Emmett's read, '_Pretty in Pink_,' - which also happened to be a nice bright shade of pink. All three shirts were entirely _way_ too small for any of them, making them slightly resemble those awful cropped tees from the eighties. Even Carlisle and Esme had joined in the laughter.

"Why did you even have those t-shirts, Alice?" I barely managed through my laughter.

"Well, the '_Pretty in Pink_' is Rosalie's, the '_I shop a lot but I've still got nothing to wear' _is mine, and the '_Warning: Contains Bitterness and Resentment_' is one that I'd picked up for our 'Worst Christmas Present Ever' contest that we have every year - it's just for fun, cause we get bored - but it was going to be for Rosalie...sorry Rose," Alice said, glancing at her sister warily, but Rosalie just waved her hand, saying it was worth it because it'd been put to such good use.

Almost abruptly, our laughter was interrupted. "What happened to Bella's wrist?!" Edward roared, concern overriding his irritation. "Wait a minute - you guys went to _Kingston_, and checked into a hotel? What on earth happened while we were gone, exactly?" he continued, fury flashing in his eyes.

Silence rang out in the late afternoon air, and then Alice sighed. "Busted," she murmured, as Rosalie nodded in agreement, glancing guiltily at Carlisle and Esme, who were now fully focused on the three of us.

After apologizing profusely, and explaining to Edward about my wrist, everyone calmed down . Well, almost everyone.

Rosalie got up slowly, and stalked her way over to Emmett. She pinched his ear between her fingers, and pulled his face down to hers. "Emmett. I found your damn salamanders. If you even think about picking up one more slimy, disgusting thing, and somehow keeping it as a pet, or whatever the hell you're doing, you will be sorry. The next time this happens, you will begin to lose upgrades I've installed on your Jeep. Got it?" she hissed menacingly.

Emmett looked petrified - only Rosalie could instill fear in him."They weren't in the _tent_, though, Rose," he tried to murmur, but she pinched his ear harder, silencing him. He gulped, and nodded slowly.

"Good. Your jacket is...over there," she pointed vaguely to where she'd thrown it earlier. "Go get rid of those things, _now_." She let go of him, and Emmett sulked off into the trees to find his jacket and free the salamanders.

A while later, we were gathered back around the campfire, and I was snuggled next to Edward, who had ended up laughing about our trip to the hotel after he'd seen how happy I'd been about it. He only wanted for me to be happy, so he was glad I'd had so much fun. Esme had happily supplied me with another fantastic meal, and I was feeling quite content.

Alice and I had both felt guilty about the t-shirt charade since we'd been indulging all afternoon, so we'd promptly offered Jasper and Edward each an appropriate change of clothing. Rosalie tried to do the same after she'd made up with Emmett, but he claimed he _was_ pretty in pink, and refused to change.

Squirming slightly, I tried to examine the blankets we were wrapped in. One of them was very itchy or something - it was starting to irritate me.

"I missed you a lot today, love. So, what do you want to do tonight?" Edward asked.

"I missed you too, Edward. Maybe just relaxing here with you would be nice," I replied, scratching my arm, then my leg, then my other arm. "Edward, one of these blankets must be wool or something - it's really itchy," I complained.

Edward was staring back at me, his face full of sympathy. "It's not one of the blankets, love," he murmured.

"What is it then? It's really, really annoying," I replied as I went back to scratching my leg.

"Remember when you laid down at the waterfall? You seemed like you were actually truly enjoying yourself, so I didn't want to tell you. I thought it best to just wait until it started to show up, which we knew it would," he said, glancing over at Alice. "You laid back into Poison Ivy, Bella," Edward explained regrettably.

Poison Ivy. Crap.

A/N: Please review!


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hi everyone! Thanks for the reviews, they make my day. I forgot to mention last time that there were a few of you that had guessed it was either Poison Ivy or Poison Oak, so that was great! Anyway, I hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

**Chapter 7**

**BPOV**

Upon realizing the Poison Ivy was beginning to show up, Carlisle had retrieved several things from his medical supply trunk, and surprisingly, the food tent. First he immediately gave me a steroid shot, to prevent my reaction from being too severe. He also gave me a prescription cream called Diprolene AF, but I was only allowed to apply it once a day. He had many theories on homemade relief agents that I'd be able to use more often, and I quickly became the guinea pig to test them - honestly, I didn't mind as much as one would think - I was incredibly eager to stop the awful itch.

First, we tried applying cooked oatmeal. This one was not so appealing to me, as I felt ridiculous and sticky. After that, we tried a baking soda paste - again, it helped, but it was messy, which was annoying because I kept getting it all over the blankets, etc. From there we moved onto vinegar, which actually worked quite well, but everyone else objected because it smelled so bad. Edward tried to argue with them because it was helping me, but Emmett couldn't deal with it, and in order to keep the sanity, I agreed to move on to the next method.

Finally, we tried banana peels, and they were an instant winner. It was a miracle cure to me, as it brought an instant, cooling relief to my skin. It was so good, I instantly started to wonder if we had enough bananas to last the rest of the trip, and Alice reassured me it wouldn't be a problem. Knowing her, she'd end up leaving in the middle of the night to drive to a grocery store and buy their entire stock of bananas. Edward had suggested that maybe we should go home early, but the disappointment on his face was heartbreaking, so I decided that as long as I had bananas, I'd try to stick it out. There was still the guilt for taking our luxury hotel trip this afternoon, too.

Now that the itch was under control, we all sat around the campfire, and I listened to the Cullens tell stories of the places they'd gone, the things they'd done, while Edward ran the banana peel across my arms, so I wouldn't aggravate my wrist. After a while, Alice asked excitedly if I'd like to make S'mores, and I couldn't deny that they sounded delicious, so I followed her to the food tent, where we set all of the ingredients out on the table in a mini assembly line for me. I'd take enough for one or two S'mores at a time, and return to the fire, where Edward insisted on roasting the marshmallows for me, mumbling again about testing fate. He even made me wait for them to cool down before handing them to me; I think he was becoming paranoid.

Esme was reminiscing, currently telling a story about Emmett, just after he'd been changed. She'd been so happy Rosalie had found someone, but was completely aggravated with the force that was 'newborn Emmett.' He'd broken everything in the house. If he'd sat in a chair, he'd break it. If he touched a doorknob, he'd end up ripping the entire door off it's hinges. If he jumped up and down, he'd put holes in the floors. He'd even demolished the staircase as he'd started running up it one day. It'd taken them over a year of continuous repairs and replacements just to regain some semblance of their previous home.

The warmth of the fire, along with the cooling sensation of the banana peel, had me drifting in and out of sleep, and the last thing I remember was Edward curling me to him, carrying me off to our tent.

Some time after that, I awoke to hushed whispering outside our tent. Cowering under my blankets, I listened further.

"We should try this at home, it would make everything so much easier," Rosalie laughed.

"I freaking love Bella - how did she know I'd be so hungry tonight?" Emmet asked, the anticipation ringing in his voice.

"Now, now - this isn't something that we will allow to happen at home - you know we have to be more careful," Carlisle scolded.

"Why does Emmett assume it's his? That's not fair," Jasper added.

"Cause I'm calling it - MINE!" Emmett exclaimed; he sounded as if he were positively bouncing up and down.

"Don't worry, Jasper - I'll go with you to get something, if you want. You don't even really care for this variety anyway - it's not your taste," Alice soothed.

"_Shut_ it, everyone - it's almost here," Emmett replied, suddenly serious.

As he spoke, an unfamiliar sound filled the air...a growl, but not the type of growl I was used to. Hesitantly, I peeked out from under the blankets, and found Edward leaning directly over me, his arms surrounding my body in an iron cage formation. As he met me gaze, he raised an eyebrow. "Did you by chance forget to put the remains of the S'mores' ingredients away, love?" he asked.

Oops. "Hmm...maybe? I'm sorry - I was so tired... What's that noise?" I questioned, my focus shifting to the tiny window of the tent, which was zipped shut.

Before he could answer, there was another unfamiliar growl. Instantly, a ferocious roar erupted in response, this one remarkably more recognizable. "Was that _Emmett_?" I asked, completely confused.

Edward rolled his eyes. "Yes...the leftovers from your snack have attracted a rather large grizzly bear, and Emmett is ridiculously happy about it - they're his favorite, you know.

Wide-eyed, I nodded. "I know...irritable, right?" I whispered. So he was 'hunting' right outside the tent? Wow.

Edward nodded. "He's working on the 'irritable' part right now."

"Can I see?" I asked, completely fascinated.

"Absolutely not," he replied without hesitation.

"Why? I'm going to be like you after the wedding, so I'll have to hunt too - this could help to ease me into it..." I tried again.

"Bella, seeing Emmett take down a grizzly bear would far from 'ease you into it' - it's much more likely to send you running and screaming. I believe you'll start with something much less violent," he added.

"Well, at least tell me what he's doing to make it so irritable, then," I said begrudgingly.

Edward sighed. "He's aggravating it - running in circles around it, too quick to be seen, intermittently smacking it on the back of its head, things of that nature. Oh - and Jasper's adding to it as well."

"Huh. Really? That just sounds...bizarre," I whispered.

"Bella, have you _met_ Emmett? He's simply goofy - almost everything he does is somewhat bizarre - or do I need to remind you of his recent collection of pets?" Edward replied incredulously.

* * *

This was the most wonderful dream. Edward and I were in our meadow, and he was twirling me around and around, my beautiful lullaby playing in the background. He was just about to pull me up into his arms and meet my lips with his, when suddenly, it changed. Instead of leaning in to kiss me, he smiled widely, spun around in a circle, clapped, and started doing some sort of complicated dance move. He was moving very fast, and the music was now some sort of disco song. What on earth? This was highly unlike him; I much preferred his previous behavior in this dream.

The music was getting louder. "Edward, could you please turn that down? What are you doing, anyway? This is just strange," I muttered, hoping he would cease his crazed disco fever rendition and listen to me.

"I'm not doing anything, love," he replied.

"Yes, you are - you've gone completely seventies on me, which I don't understand at all - I thought you detested the music of the seventies?" I continued, irritated at his nonchalant dismissal.

He chuckled quietly. "Of course I detest that music, Bella. I've got nothing to do with it. Now try to sleep," he added.

Wait a minute...as the voice spoke, the Edward in my dream kept dancing around, but his lips never moved. As I began to understand, I opened my eyes slowly, blinking.

Edward was lying beside me, propped up on his elbow, smirking down at me. "Hi there," he said, trying not to laugh.

"What time is it now? I'm never going to get a solid nights sleep again, am I?" I asked, rolling my eyes.

"Well, technically, you won't need to sleep at all in a couple of months, love," he replied, chuckling. "However, it is now just before three o'clock."

"Hmph." The obnoxious music from my dream called out to me, demanding my attention again. "So what the heck is that noise anyway?"

Edward motioned to the tiny tent window, suggesting I see for myself. Warily, I moved to the little screen and looked outside. I blinked my eyes quickly, trying to make sure I wasn't hallucinating.

Outside Alice's tent, everything had been rearranged, and it now resembled some sort of mini club. There was a fold-out dance floor, complete with flashing lights, and a disco ball which sat on a small table in the corner. The sign above Alice's tent had been replaced with one that read, '_Alice's Disco Dance Party_.' Emmett and Rosalie were on one side of the dance floor, and Alice was across from them. All three had clearly been to the wardrobe tent - Emmett was wearing some sort of white suit, with a black shirt under it, Alice was wearing a black shift dress, with elegant, billowing sleeves, and Rosalie was stunning in a short, low-cut sparkling red dress - no wonder she was so willing to participate. They were all sliding and clapping, swaying their shoulders to the music.

*_Clap_* "_Do the Hustle, do the Hustle_!" the music continued to blare, and Jasper sat in the corner on top of the mountain of pillows, smiling as he watched his wife's antics.

Edward cleared his throat, then motioned for me to join him again. I moved slowly, still bewildered at the scene outside. "Bella, you might want to lay down again, before Alice takes the time to notice you're awake. She tried to get me to allow her to wake you at least four times to join in their...fun, but I refused. If she notices you, she'll definitely come after you, and that would only make your night much, much longer," Edward whispered softly into my ear.

Stretching up to him, I whispered in return, "Does this kind of thing happen often?"

Edward just chuckled quietly, snuggling me back into the blankets. "A lot of things happen in the night when you're sleeping, Bella."

As I drifted off, I began to wonder exactly how much I hadn't ever realized about my soon-to-be-new-family, and how much I would discover after joining them in immortality.

* * *

Much too early, the sun streamed through the tent's walls, and I was once again awoken.

Edward was next to me, waiting, holding a banana peel, and I was reminded again how lucky I was to have him.

Once outside the tent, I stretched fully, then headed over to the food tent, as usual. Unsurprisingly, breakfast was waiting compliments of Esme, and so was Alice.

"Bella! We let you sleep in this morning - aren't you glad we didn't wake you up like yesterday?" she exclaimed, hopping up at the sight of me.

"Yeah, Alice, thanks - it would mean more if you guys could manage to keep the noise level down _during_ the night though, so the sleep would actually count," I replied wearily.

"You missed out on all the fun last night - Edward wouldn't let me wake you up. We had a complete dance party extravaganza!" she trilled, overly exuberant.

"So I heard..." I trailed off. "I never really pictured you to be one to enjoy the seventies, Alice - or the clothes, for that matter."

"Silly Bella, the seventies did have some good points - not many, I'll grant you, but some. The clothes normal people wore were absolutely hideous," she shuddered delicately. "Those particular outfits we had on last night were created by an extremely talented designer of that era just so we'd have something acceptable to wear when we attended prom in '75. I hired that same designer to custom design all of our clothes for a few years then - it was just too awful to shop what the stores had. Sometimes it's fun to reminisce," she laughed quietly. Every decade deserves _some_ attention, after all."

"How are you feeling this morning, dear?" Esme asked, sitting down beside me. "Do you need anything for your Poison Ivy or wrist?" she continued, full of concern.

"No, thank you. Edward already helped me this morning, and my wrist feels fine," I answered, slightly embarrassed again.

After I'd finished eating, we all gathered around the fire, continuing our conversation from breakfast. Esme was sharing her memories of how particular Alice had been about all of their clothing in the seventies, insisting she had final approval over everything. She'd kept having visions of family members wearing hideous clothing in family photos, and she'd freaked out. Now it made sense - she didn't mind the seventies so much because she'd been able to make each family member her own personal Barbie doll, just like she does with me. Wow - seven people to choose wardrobes for, on a daily basis - unbelievable.

Esme was about to share another memory, when Alice froze, and we turned our attention to her.

Her eyes glazed over, and she became silent. We all waited apprehensively for Alice to reveal the vision to us.

Edward sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose, just as Alice returned her focus to all of us.

"Charlie is going to call, Carlisle. The seminar wrapped up last night, so he is heading home earlier than planned, and wants to stop in to have lunch with us," Alice explained. "He's curious to see how Bella's holding up."

**A/N: Please review - just one more chapter left!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hi everyone! I am so, so sorry this update took so long. I have been completely angry with myself for not posting sooner - I hate to make anyone wait. See, I thought it would be the last chapter, but it started to get ridiculously long, so I had to split it, and then I was stuck, and ugh - I don't know. The good news is, you'll get at least one more chapter after this one, so yay for all those that were so upset at it coming to an end! Anyway, thanks to everyone one of you that reviewed - it means a lot. **

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. **

_(Previously):_

_Esme was about to share another memory, when Alice froze, and we turned our attention to her. _

_Her eyes glazed over, and she became silent. We all waited apprehensively for Alice to reveal the vision to us. _

_Edward sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose, just as Alice returned her focus to all of us. _

"_Charlie is going to call, Carlisle. The seminar wrapped up last night, so he is heading home earlier than planned, and wants to stop in to have lunch with us," Alice explained. "He's curious to see how Bella's holding up." _

**Chapter 8**

**BPOV**

"Hmm....well, I certainly hadn't planned on that," Carlisle murmured, slightly perplexed. Before he could say much more, his cell began ringing, proving Alice to be correct.

We all listened as Carlisle spoke with Charlie. After a few minutes of conversation, Carlisle gave him the directions that would enable Charlie to find us, then snapped the phone shut.

Rosalie spoke first. "What on earth did you do that for? Surely he's going to find all of this," she motioned to our surroundings, pointing out all the luxury items and numerous tents, "to be a bit unusual, to say the least," she hissed.

Carlisle looked disapprovingly at her, then turned his gaze to each of us, finally resting on me. "He was so enthusiastic - so eager to see Bella, and to share this with her. He's proud of her for lasting all weekend - honestly, he thought she'd have insisted we pack up and head home on the first day. Bella only has so much more time with him, so I thought it would be nice - who am I to deny him this?" Carlisle said seriously.

He went on to describe how we would alter our 'current situation' by removing all the luxury items. He explained how there were a series of caves back down the road that we'd come on, that used to be open to the public, but had been closed for a while, and said they would leave all the items inside the caves until we could pick them up later, after Charlie had gone home. He also asked Alice to stop by the public campground that was about ten miles away, and see if they had a general store where she could purchase a couple of coolers, large blocks of ice, and a selection of dried food. He said we would just have to admit to buying the ice - we had no other explanation that would explain how we'd been keeping our food cold.

With much grumbling from everyone, they all sprung into action, recognizing the authority in Carlisle's voice. Edward picked me up, set me by the fire, and told me not to move until they were done loading up the two vehicles.

After merely fifteen minutes, the entire area was transformed, almost completely unrecognizable compared to it's former state. There were now only three tents; one for Carlisle and Esme, and two separate ones for the guys and for the girls - Carlisle insisted things appear 'proper' to Charlie. Everyone immediately began objecting, but Carlisle quieted us, pointing out that Charlie would be leaving after lunch, and that it was merely temporary.

Everything else was gone - the generators, the fridge - all of it. There was only the one table left, with minimal kitchen supplies, such as plates, cups, utensils, and seasoning. There were fold-out chairs around the fire, a small pile of various items, such as buckets, a shovel, and a row of shiny fishing poles, and that was basically it, as far as I could see.

Edward had managed to salvage the rest of the bananas for me, and stored them in one of the tents. Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper and Alice left to haul the cargo away, and Edward stayed with me, Carlisle and Esme. It had occurred to me that we wouldn't have any actual food - except bananas, and I wasn't giving those up - to offer Charlie for lunch. Carlisle explained that in order for this to look authentic, we would be catching our lunch from the river. Charlie would be thrilled.

The four of us had enjoyed the quiet time while the others were away, but when they returned, Carlisle gathered us all together. He explained to the rest of them what we would be 'serving' for lunch, and asked for volunteers to go fishing. Everyone wanted to go, so that meant I'd automatically be included, as I was attached to Edward's side.

Carlisle and Esme stayed back at the campsite, to keep the fire going, and to make sure

everything appeared 'normal.' Before we left, Alice showed him what she had been able to get at the campground's general store - she'd come back with two large Coleman Xtreme coolers, which both contained large blocks of ice, and an assortment of dried fruits and vegetables. I missed the Schwann's meals already. She'd also thrown flannel shirts at everyone, and baseball caps for the guys, insisting we all get into 'costume.'

When she was done, we made our way to the river, fishing poles in hand, as well as one of the buckets, which Emmett carried. We settled in at the river's edge, ready for action.

Mere minutes passed, and everyone was already becoming restless. It truly was an incredibly boring activity - I couldn't comprehend why my father enjoyed it so much. Perhaps since he was so busy all the time, it was his way to block out the rest of the world and just be. Who knows? All I know is that it seemed ludicrous.

"Alice? Do you see any of us actually catching anything? This is boring," Emmett asked.

Alice searched the future with her mind, then grinned slyly. "Well, you'll catch something, but not this way," she laughed. "Perhaps it's time for us to face reality, embrace what we are, and consider other options."

Emmett just looked confused at her words, whereas Edward started chuckling along with her. "Carlisle won't be happy, you know," he said.

"Who said he has to know?" Alice replied, eagerness creeping into her voice.

"What the heck are you guys talking about?" Emmett interrupted, impatient.

"We're ditching this method, that's what. It's ridiculous - how anyone could sit here waiting like this for something to_ maybe_ happen is beyond me - it's bizarre. You two," she pointed at Edward and Emmett, "are going to jump in that river, and grab as many fish as you can. Jasper, start with the calming waves - send them out over the water, please, it may help to slow the fish down. Edward, Emmett - it's a contest - whoever catches twelve fish first wins!" Both guys jumped up, discarding their shirts, ready for the competition. "We still have to figure out how to clean these things after we catch them, as well as cook them, so let's get to it," Alice added, looking repulsed. "Ready, set, go!"

Edward and Emmett dove into the water. Alice leapt up, and placed the bucket near the edge of the river. Almost immediately, hands began resurfacing, fish flying towards the shore, landing in the bucket easily. Alice seemed to be keeping tabs on how many fish each had caught. In what seemed like only a minute, Alice jumped up again, calling time.

Edward and Emmett resurfaced, waiting for the verdict. "Edward has twelve, Emmett has ten," Alice sang. "Now get up here and throw some of these back - we can't show up with twenty two fish for lunch."

"Damn it! Rematch," Emmett declared, glaring at Edward.

"Forget it, Emmett - we've got to get back and prepare anyway," Edward replied, rolling his eyes. He was used to Emmett's competitive nature, and Emmett hated that Edward was so fast.

After they'd thrown ten of the fish back, we made our way back to the campsite. Carlisle glanced warily at Edward and Emmett's soaked appearance, but chose to ignore it, as they both went to change into spare flannels and jeans Alice had set aside. When they reemerged, they approached the rest of us, gathered around our bounty.

The bucket of fish sat on the ground, with all seven vampires staring at it uncertainly. It was a good thing I'd gotten used to Charlie bringing home fresh fish that hadn't been processed yet; clearly, I was the only one here that knew how to gut and clean the things.

"Who's helpless, now?" I murmured, heading over to the now practically non-existent kitchen area. Just as I was about to reach for a knife, Edward's hand flashed out, securing my wrist in steel.

"What on earth do you think you're doing, Bella?" he asked reproachfully.

"Well, since I'm the only one here who understands how to properly fillet those fish, and Charlie's going to be here sometime soon, I think I'd better get to work, don't you?" I answered, my eyebrows raised.

"You know I can't possibly let you handle that knife, Bella. There has to be some other way," Edward replied, looking around, as if for some miracle.

I sighed heavily. "Quit overreacting, Edward - you know I manage to prepare dinner for Charlie almost every night of the week, and I always seem to survive. I've cleaned and prepped hundreds of fish before without even one cut. I just have to pay attention to what I'm doing," I added, hoping he would see reason.

After checking with Alice more than a couple times, and Carlisle mentioning the need to move things along, he relented. "Alright, fine. I'm standing right here the whole time though. Whatever you do, don't cut yourself," he said, glancing warily over at Jasper.

My gaze followed his, and I nodded. "Yeah, trust me, I know. Wait - won't the blood from the fish bother any of you?" I asked, almost as an afterthought.

Edward chuckled, shaking his head. "No, we'll be fine, love. Perhaps if it were a shark, or something larger, then maybe...but not one of these - it's just not the same," he said, motioning to the small fish in the bucket. "It would be like if you had a pet goldfish or cat - of course I wouldn't want to eat them...you'll understand the differences all too soon, Bella," he added, making yet another reference to our approaching wedding and subsequently, my conversion.

Eventually, all the fish were cleaned, filleted, and stored in one of the coolers on ice. Esme inquired about cooking time, as well as seasoning, and I told her how I prepared them at home, and adjusted the time according to the fact that she'd be cooking them over the fire. She wanted to cook for Charlie, so I made sure she understood everything, so that when he arrived, she'd be ready to start.

It was about thirty minutes later that Alice 'saw' Charlie arriving. She informed us he'd be here within five minutes, so we all took our places. Carlisle, Edward, Alice, Jasper, and Rosalie gathered around the fire, lounging in the fold-out chairs. I joined Esme by the table and coolers, and helped her season the fish. Emmett sat in one of the chairs off to the side, whittling a piece of wood, and whistling loudly.

"Emmett, shut _up_, that's annoying!" Alice hissed under her breath, just as Charlie's cruiser pulled up. When his door creaked open, she hopped up and joined Esme and I, eager to greet Charlie.

"Bells! It's good to see you," Charlie said as he exited his vehicle. "Alice! Don't you look outdoorsy," he added, clearly surprised to see her wearing flannel. If he'd looked closer, he would have noticed that her jeans were BCBG, and that she had a designer t-shirt under the flannel. For that matter, the flannels themselves had all come from a high end designer; I'd baulked when I'd seen the label on the inside of mine.

He approached me, taking in my appearance - the plethora of mosquito bites, the poison ivy splotches, and the wrap on my wrist. "How are you holding up?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Great, dad. I'm doing just great," I said sarcastically, grinning back at him. He asked about my wrist, as well as my blotchy skin, and chuckled, after he realized I was alright, and awkwardly patted me on my shoulder. He shook Esme's hand, and began a conversation with Carlisle, who had come over to us to greet Charlie.

"Quite the setup you've got here, Carlisle," Charlie said, looking around appreciatively. I coughed, trying not to laugh - if he'd only seen it this morning, before the great disassemble.

Charlie joined the Cullens around the fire, and they told him about the activities of the last couple of days, right up to fishing today, editing a lot of the details, naturally. Charlie was amazed that I'd survived the activities with such minimal damage.

"Yes, Bella's learned quite a lot, I think," Edward said, grinning at me mischievously. "She's quite skilled in plant identification now, and understands the fundamentals of keeping a canoe upright. She also had a small swimming lesson that day."

I merely shook my head, my cheeks blushing furiously, as I watched Esme cook the fish over the fire. He thought he was so funny.

"We even had crafts time, dad, just like little kids do when they go to camp - it turns out, Edward is quite skilled in the art of confetti making," I said, while staring directly at Edward.

Charlie shook his head. "Wow...it sure sounds like you took my request to teach Bella the ways of outdoor survival seriously, Carlisle - thank you," he added, somewhat in awe.

Esme was finishing up with the fish, and piling them onto a large paper plate. As she headed back to the table, Emmett walked by us, into the woods, mumbling about looking for a better piece of wood to whittle. He was taking this charade a bit seriously, I thought.

"We're getting ready to eat, so if you all would like to move over here, and bring your chairs, please," Esme called out. Emmett would hear her, even out in the woods, which I was sure she realized. Everyone knew how important it was to Esme to make my dad feel welcome, and not like an outsider, which meant she'd want each and every one of them sitting down to fake-eat with my father.

"I'm sure Emmett will be right back," Esme declared. "There's no reason to wait - I wouldn't want the fish to get cold." She passed around the plate of fish, everyone delicately taking a piece and placing it on their own plates.

"Sorry about the minimal selection, Charlie, but we feel that this is what reality should be like when you camp, so we're keeping it simple," Carlisle explained, smiling politely. Right - it's what it _should_ be like, not what is _was_ like. Truckloads of food, a refrigerator, generators,...

"Dad, have you ever had any of the meals from a company called 'Schwann's?'" I asked, causing six pairs of golden eyes to flash in my direction.

"No, Bells, why do you ask?" Charlie replied in between bites of fish.

"Oh, no reason, I just heard about them, and thought it might be good for you to look into for after I...move out," I answered, unable to stop the tiny grin from sneaking onto my face. They'd all thought I was going to blow their 'expert naturalists' cover.

Charlie nodded, paying more attention to his food. He mumbled something about it being really good, and failed to notice the people surrounding him weren't actually eating - just a lot of fake chewing, and super-fast movements to hide the food away somewhere. I still wondered how they managed that sometimes.

"This is truly delicious, Esme, dear," Carlisle said appreciatively.

"Mmm - absolutely the best," Alice added.

"Thank you, everyone," Esme replied politely.

After a few moments of polite conversation, we heard Emmett approaching - he was whistling again, and a tiny sigh escaped from Alice. As he came into view, he had a large stick tucked under his arm, and was carrying something else. Since Alice was sitting next to me, I noticed when she started very minimally shaking her head back and forth, staring at Emmett, as if willing him to notice her, and at the same moment, Edward snorted quietly. Charlie remained unaware of any of it, and continued to cut pieces from his fish.

"Yep, we sure have taught Bella a lot. Livin' off the land - there's nothing like it," Emmett proclaimed, as he fake-tossed something into his mouth, then began fake-chewing. He made his way to the table, and dropped what he'd been carrying - mushrooms. "Anyone want a side dish? Found them myself," he added proudly.

Before anyone could answer, Rosalie began quietly hissing something, and everyone turned their attention to her; even Charlie noticed this. We watched as her eyes narrowed into slits, and she dropped her fork and knife, slowly rising from the table. Our eyes followed her line of sight, and immediately, we saw the problem.

A tiny field mouse was peeking curiously out of Emmett's shirt pocket. Still quietly hissing what was beginning to sound similar to quite a few words of profanity, Rosalie stalked past him, heading directly for his Jeep. She effortlessly unlatched the hood, looked around intently for a moment, then reached in and yanked out some sort of part. She proceeded towards the woods with it, to most likely reduce it to nothing more than a fine powder, with Emmett running after her.

"Rose - it's not slimy! IT'S NOT SLIMY!" he yelled, panicking about his lost upgrade.

We all sat in silence for a moment, then Charlie shook his head, and turned to Carlisle and Esme. "I don't know how you do it; I can barely handle Bella. Five teenagers - amazing," he murmured, focusing on his food again, after helping himself to a second helping of fish.

A few minutes later, a defeated looking Emmett and a smug looking Rosalie reemerged from the woods, the Jeep's lost part nowhere to be seen. Wordlessly, they reclaimed their previous positions among us at the table.

"Well, that was delicious - thank you, Esme," Charlie said, leaning back in his chair. Murmurs filled the air in agreement, thanking Esme along with Charlie. "You know, Bells, I'm really glad I got to stop out here - it's great to see you having such a good time in this type of situation. When you were little, you couldn't stand anything like this."

"Yes, it's too bad you can't stay with us, Charlie. I'm sure Bella would have loved for you to have camped with us for the weekend, but we understand, you've got to get back to town, of course. Forks is surely missing it's favorite Chief of Police," Carlisle said sincerely.

Charlie seemed to hesitate at his words, and glanced back at me. Suddenly, Alice gripped the edges of her chair, and Edward sighed heavily, although Charlie noticed neither action.

"Well...actually, I'm not scheduled to be back at work until tomorrow afternoon," Charlie said uncertainly. "There's actually no reason I couldn't stay - I've still got some extra clothes in the car from my trip. If you could spare a couple of blankets, then I don't see why I shouldn't," he added, shrugging his shoulders.

Shocked silence settled over the table, until Carlisle finally managed to speak. "Certainly, Charlie - if you wish to stay, you're welcome to. We have plenty of blankets. Esme and I will even give you our tent, and we'll sleep with the others." His compassion was truly going to get us all into trouble.

"Don't be ridiculous - someone else can stay in the tent with me, I don't want you all to be over-crowded for my expense. We'll work it out later. This will be great," he said, smiling at me, before turning his gaze back to the cluttered table.

"Emmett, how many of those did you eat?" Charlie asked, motioning to the mushrooms scattered across the table. We'd all forgotten about them, and hadn't touched them since he'd put them there; the mouse incident had distracted us.

"Quite a few, they're very good," Emmett lied. "Help yourself."

Charlie chuckled, shaking his head. "I'd rather not...they're actually mildly poisonous," he said. "Nothing serious, but you will be...indisposed for a while this afternoon, I'm afraid."

Emmett stared at him, confused. Carlisle was studying the mushrooms, comprehension crossing his features. "Yes, he's quite right, Emmett - I don't know how you could have missed that. I can give you some medicine to help, I'm not sure it will do much good. Digesting this particular type of mushroom is quite uncomfortable; it will just have to pass through your system...the natural way," he added, trying not to show his irritation at Emmett's mistake.

So now Emmett was going to have to fake being sick for the afternoon? This was really getting out of control.

**A/N: Again, sorry about the wait! Please show some love - there seem to be a ton of you that are reading, but not reviewing. Since we're near the end, let's bring the house down, just like Ginny did in the Hall of Prophecies at the end of Order of the Phoenix - review like mad! *Sorry for the HP reference, couldn't help myself, lol. **


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Once again, sorry for the delay. I've been struggling with this chapter, then I got this awful head cold, so anyway...sorry. Ok - there's only one chapter after this, so prepare for the end of the story, lol. Hopefully you'll enjoy this one, and I'll try not to take so long with the next one, but you should probably expect about another week before I post it. Thanks to all of you who are reading, and extra thanks to those of you that review - it makes my day! **

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. **

**Chapter 9:**

**BPOV**

The first half of the afternoon following lunch was fairly uneventful. Charlie dozed off in his chair in front of the fire, while everyone else carried on a rather heated, but hushed conversation behind of the tents.

"I can't believe he's staying - what do we do now? There's no way I'm sitting in a tent all night, pretending to sleep," Emmett whispered.

"I thought we were going to be able to go get all of our stuff back - we can't possibly do that now," Alice whimpered, distressed. Jasper leaned over and placed a soft kiss atop her head, offering his comfort to her.

"I refuse to stay away from Bella all night - it's completely preposterous," Edward uttered, pulling me closer as if to demonstrate his point.

"Alright, that's enough. Obviously, this isn't an ideal situation, but we are more than capable of handling it - it's for one night," Carlisle said. "It's not the end of the world, after all. We will all do whatever is necessary, no complaints. Think of how much this time will mean to Charlie. Now, let's get back out there, so Charlie doesn't wake up to find us all huddled behind a tent." Esme nodded in agreement with him. "Oh - and remember, Emmett, you'll need to disappear for a couple hours - you're supposed to be getting rather ill some time soon," he added.

"But I don't want to sit in the woods by myself all day - there's nothing to do, and I'll get bored," Emmett complained. "Can Rose at least come with me?"

We all looked disbelievingly at him. "Emmett...with the condition you're supposed to be in, nobody would want to be anywhere near you - how would that look to Charlie?" Carlisle asked seriously, before motioning to all of us to resume our positions around the fire. Grumbling, Emmett followed.

Charlie woke up around an hour later - he must have been tired from his trip. "So, what's on the agenda for this afternoon?" he asked eagerly, looking around.

"Well, some of us will have to go fishing again, for dinner," Carlisle replied. Emmett immediately perked up, probably thinking he'd get his rematch with Edward.

"Fishing - that sounds perfect. I'd love to go," Charlie said, grinning. Emmett's expression fell as he realized it would involve the traditional fishing poles, and that there could be no rematch in front of Charlie.

In what I could only assume was an attempt to escape the monotony of fishing the human way, Emmett suddenly seemed to recall Carlisle's previous reminder, and doubled over, groaning loudly. As the rest of us annoyingly watched Emmett's over-the-top rendition of stomach cramps, Charlie gazed on sympathetically, shaking his head.

"Poor guy - he's got some pain ahead of him," Charlie said quietly. "A buddy of mine made that same mistake once, and let's just say, he won't make it again. He was in the can for hours," he added.

If we hadn't been aware that the entire show was fake, we might have missed the sudden gleam in Emmett's eyes as he got up and loudly excused himself, heading towards the woods.

"Son," Carlisle called out, causing Emmett to pause. "Don't forget the shovel," he said, motioning to the spade that was still in a pile of assorted objects near the Jeep. So that's what that was supposed to be for...eeww. I don't think I'd ever appreciated my lavatory more.

Alice was the next to hop up, desperate to escape the fishing escapade as well; she had been acting nervous ever since Charlie had announced he would be staying. With a couple blinks of her wide, not-so-innocent eyes at Charlie, and some made-up excuse about needing her rest, she'd managed to get Charlie on her side, and he insisted that she stay behind and take a nap.

_Pffffffttttttt._ _PFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTT._ My eyes widened in horror, as I realized what the sound was supposed to be. From somewhere in the woods, Emmett was making fake, rude sounds on his arm - very loudly.

"Aarrrgggghhhh.....the pain," Emmett's voice moaned from the shadows. _Pfffftttttt_. "Oh, the humanity...aarrgghhh....." he continued on.

Almost immediately, I flushed a deep crimson, Charlie started shaking his head again in sympathy, and everyone else looked nothing other than extremely annoyed. Clearly, Emmett was eager for us to be on our way, so he could come out of hiding, and do something more entertaining - he was trying to embarrass us out of the campsite.

Before anyone else could try to come up with another excuse as to why they shouldn't have to go, Carlisle quickly declared that the rest of us would all be going fishing, and he started to pass out the equipment to everyone, in order to get us away from Emmett's ridiculous antics.

As another loud '_PFFFFFTTTTTTTT_' echoed in the wind, everyone moved just a little bit faster towards the river - who knew what else Emmett would come up with to portray his apparent sickness, especially when he was bored. It was best not to find out. At least fishing the human way would take a few hours, which would be enough time for him to be 'better,' and we wouldn't have to endure any more of his nonsense.

After we'd been sitting on the embankment for over two hours, absolutely nothing had even pulled on my line. I watched as the others all reeled their catches in, my impatience growing steadily. Most of them were all fairly successful. I was doing everything they were, so what was the problem?

Edward had just caught another, and was removing it from his line. He smiled at me, and walked over to the bucket to add it to the collection.

Maybe if I moved out onto the dock, where the water was deeper. I pulled my line in, and relocated myself, hoping I'd found the answer. Charlie had begun talking to Edward, who didn't look happy with my move, and was trying to extricate himself from his new conversation. Charlie continued on though, and Edward had no choice but to stay put, or risk coming across as rude - something that went against his very nature, especially when concerning his future father-in-law. His worried glances became more frequent, so in an effort to calm his nerves, I made a show of slowly sitting down, hoping to reassure him that I wouldn't fall off the edge of the dock now.

Carefully, I tossed my line back out, and looked over my shoulder at Edward, who after seeing me sit down with no further trouble, appeared to relax a bit. As I tried to readjust the grip on my fishing pole, I noticed the line seemed to be stuck. Had I caught something? I tugged experimentally - it was definitely resisting. Excited, I pulled harder, but it wasn't budging. Slowly rising back up, I planted my feet and pulled again, this time with everything I had - there was no way I was going to lose this fish. Just as I leaned forward to prepare myself for another pull backward, something gave way, and I tumbled forward, straight over the edge of the dock into the water.

I gasped and spluttered, trying to adjust to the shock of the cool water. Moments later, Edward was there, his arms around my waist, lifting me from the water back onto the dock as he whispered into my ear.

"Sorry about the delay, love, but I had to reach you at a human pace, what with your father watching. Are you all right - what were you doing, anyway?"

"I had a fish, Edward, what do you think? I finally caught something, and I just didn't want it to get away," I huffed in response. Charlie was laughing off in the distance, the others watching Edward's human-like rescue attempt with humor in their eyes.

"That wasn't a fish, Bella. That last time you tugged, it came flying up out of the water - there, love, is your big catch of the day," Edward chuckled, pointing to something laying on the dock.

It was an old water sodden leather shoe. A freaking shoe. It wasn't even that nice of a shoe. This was why I hated fishing.

A few hours later, with our caught fish in the bucket, we made our way back towards camp. Although boring, fishing went well for most, and we still managed to catch quite a haul; with eight people sitting around for three hours, tedious or not, we were bound to catch something. Charlie had fared the best - he caught five. Carlisle and Esme had each caught two a piece, while Jasper had caught three. Rosalie didn't catch any; she hadn't really been participating, she'd just been pretending. It wasn't a surprise - did anyone really expect her to touch the slimy bait after all the issues with Emmett's salamanders and snails?

Edward had caught two, although he probably could have caught more, if he hadn't been so focused on me.

As the campgrounds came into sight, we noticed that Emmett was back, sitting in one of the chairs, whittling another piece of wood. Alice emerged from one of the tents as we got closer, stretching her arms as she pretended to yawn, as if she'd just woken up from a nap.

"Alice, did you get some rest?" Charlie asked, concerned about his favorite Cullen. She nodded happily, then linked arms with Charlie, and demanded that he recount everything she had missed on the trip. When they passed Emmett, Charlie smiled at him. "Glad to see you're feeling better, Emmett. That can be tough," he said.

"It sure can, Charlie," Emmett replied, nodding his head. "Wasn't sure I was gonna pull through that for a while there. If I were you, I'd steer clear of that section of the woods - it got pretty ugly," he grinned, motioning vaguely to where he'd hidden before. Charlie nodded seriously.

Rosalie stalked past us, heading for one of the tents, muttering to herself. "Ridiculous...completely ridiculous." Her expression left little to the imagination - she was beyond annoyed.

Charlie watched Rosalie's display of irritation, then turned back to Emmett, his eyes full of more sympathy. As Alice continued to tug on his arm, they headed off toward the rest of the chairs. "You'd think she'd be more understanding," Charlie muttered in wonder at Alice.

Eventually, after another hour had passed, the fish were all cleaned and prepared, and we repeated the ritual of earlier that day, gathering around the table for dinner. Charlie had found some mushrooms on our way back to camp - ones that he assured us we could eat safely - and Esme added some packets of the dried vegetables to the table as well.

The Cullens once again put on the charade of eating, while Charlie and I gulped down the meal in earnest. This meal wasn't nearly as eventful as the last one, as Emmett was behaving himself, sitting quietly at the end of the table; Edward had told me that Carlisle had pulled Emmett aside upon our return, and made it a point to quit drawing needless attention to himself.

Once the table was cleared, and the remains of the meal had been properly discarded, we all settled in to enjoy the warmth of the fire. Charlie was stretching in his chair, happily patting his stomach.. "So, who's going to bunk with me, then?" he asked. Seven pairs of golden eyes flashed around the circle, all studying one another warily.

"That's really not necessary, Charlie. We'll make do perfectly fine," Carlisle said, trying to spare anyone from having to become my father's tent mate.

"No, I won't have it, Carlisle. You've been kind enough, making room for me, allowing me to stay unexpectedly, not to mention feeding me. Surely one of the boys can stay with me, that way you won't be so cramped in the other tent," Charlie insisted.

Edward suddenly tensed, and when I turned to look at him, his eyes were narrowed dangerously in Emmett's direction. Before anything else could happen, Emmett's voice boomed out into the night.

"Jeez, you two, enough already. We're sick of seeing the constant public displays of affection, - that's all you've done this whole trip," Emmett said, his eyes gleaming at us.

Immediately, Charlie snapped out of his fog, his eyes focusing on Edward and I, taking in our close proximity, and eventually restingon Edward's encompassing arms. His eyes narrowed infinitesimally.

"Edward, why don't you stay in my tent tonight? It will give us some time to talk, before you marry my daughter," Charlie said. "As I said earlier, I don't want to overcrowd the rest of you in those two tents, so this should work out best," he added; his tone didn't leave much room for argument, and from Edward's expression, I'm guessing his thoughts didn't either.

"Of course, that will be just fine, Charlie. I look forward to it," Edward replied, the epitome of politeness. He turned his head to the side, so that Charlie couldn't see his face, and murmured quietly enough so that only I could hear, "Don't worry love, I'll slip out of the tent the moment he falls asleep - we both know what a sound sleeper Charlie is."

The rest of the evening progressed, the Cullens encouraging my dad to tell stories of my early childhood. Embarrassing tale after tale was told, almost all of them inevitably ending with me and a trip to the hospital, which of course Emmett found to be highly amusing. Although Charlie seemed to be enjoying himself, chuckling along with the others, I noticed his gaze never shifted far from Edward and I, constantly studying our behavior.

As it reached eleven o'clock, Charlie made his exhaustion clear, yawning loudly. Carlisle took the cue, and expressed that we should all be getting to bed, as we must all be quite tired. I had already begun drifting in and out of consciousness, and was grateful when Edward scooped me up into his arms, and carried me to one of the tents. He tucked me into the blankets securely, then whispered softly into my ear. "I'll be back as soon as your father falls asleep, love."

The warm comfort of the blankets pulled me eagerly back into sleep, only to be awoken a second later, as Alice, Rosalie, and Esme filed into the tent.

"Bella, wake up, it's time to pretend to sleep," Alice exclaimed, settling in right next to me. She sat with her legs crossed, staring at me expectantly.

Rosalie rolled her eyes at Alice, then nestled herself in between a pile of pillows, and pulled out her hidden laptop. Esme gave her a reproachful look before turning back to Alice.

"Alice, dear, Bella actually_ needs _to sleep, so you're going to have to be quiet now," Esme scolded.

Alice sighed. "She's not going to be able to sleep, anyway - trust me."

"And why not?" Esme asked.

Alice paused, waiting for something. A moment later, she smiled. "There will be constant interruptions, because of him," she said, gesturing towards the front of the tent.

Esme listened for a moment, then detected something outside. "Edward, don't even think about coming in here - get back to your tent," she whispered. Despite her warning, the flap on the tent unzipped, and Edward stepped swiftly inside.

"I'm not staying over there, I'm staying with Bella. Charlie's asleep anyway - he has no idea that I'm not there," Edward said, as he started to move towards me. He was only halfway when he stopped, tilted his head. His expression turned to irritation, and he suddenly disappeared.

Alice began giggling quietly, then motioned for us to move to the front of the tent.

"Damn it, Emmett, get out of there," Edward hissed menacingly from outside his tent. There were two blurring motions that followed, one fleeing my dad's tent, the other entering. The one that had fled flashed by our tent, heading back to his own - it was Emmett, and as he stopped in front of the guys' tent, he clutched his sides, desperately trying to hold his laughter in. I looked in confusion over at Alice, who was fighting the same battle Emmett was, as she held up a tiny finger signaling for me to wait...

"What on earth? What is this - what's going on?" Charlie spoke into the silence. After a moment, a flashlight clicked on inside the tent, and Charlie sighed loudly. "Edward. For someone who is about to become my son-in-law, I would really expect more. I'm disappointed in you; instead of acting like a responsible young man, you go and pull something like this. It's entirely immature and juvenile," he reprimanded, and Edward sighed in response. "Do you have anything to say for yourself?" Charlie added.

"I'm sorry, Charlie. It won't happen again," Edward replied, his tone bitter.

Still confused, I waited for an explanation from Alice. She pulled me back to the comfort of the blankets and pillows, and explained that Emmett had pulled one of the classic pranks - he'd put shaving cream on Charlie's hand while Edward had been talking to us, and started to tickle his nose, so that he would smack himself in the face, spreading the shaving cream all over him. Edward had realized it when Emmett went into the tent; he'd heard his thoughts, but couldn't do anything to stop it, and had to take the blame when Charlie had woken up. Now I understood why they'd been having a hard time not laughing, as I erupted into a fit of giggles myself. I could only imagine the look on my father's face, as he awoke with the shaving cream smeared across his features, with Edward sitting expectantly next to him. Alice and I laughed together, while Rosalie appeared to be doing her best to ignore the entire situation.

"Enough, Alice. Bella needs to get some rest," Esme reminded, gazing at us over her book. Alice sighed, moved closer to Rosalie, and started sifting through the pile of magazines.

Whether from all the recent giggling, or from the glow of the lantern that softly filled the tent, I couldn't sleep. It had been at least half an hour, and I was tired of laying here. Besides, I could feel Alice studying me every few minutes, and I couldn't help but wonder if I did actually fall asleep, would I wake up with a new make over? That thought alone was enough to keep anyone up at night.

As soon as I rolled over and began to sit up, Alice was at my side, staring at me with her wide, overly eager eyes. "Can't sleep?" she asked innocently.

"Not really. I think I might go look for one of those dried fruit packets," I replied. The meals had become considerably smaller, and not nearly as good since my dad had arrived.

"Ok, good - I'm going to go see what Jasper's doing, then we'll meet back here and decide what you want to do next," she smiled at me, apparently thrilled at my lack of desire to sleep.

**A/N: Please review everyone! It'd be beyond fantastic if we could get to 200 - last chapter, 28 people reviewed, so that means we only need 36 this time - please? Thanks!! :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hi everyone!! We made it over 200 reviews!! You guys are so awesome...I can't tell you how happy it made me. Now, I know I've said this before, lol, but I had to split the last chapter - it was getting to be way too long. However - I do promise there are only two more, because the other one is actually mostly done, I just have to edit a few things. So - once again, there will be one more chapter after this one, but I promise, it really will only be one more, so quit laughing. :)**

_(Previously): _

_Whether from all the recent giggling, or from the glow of the lantern that softly filled the tent, I couldn't sleep. It had been at least half an hour, and I was tired of laying here. Besides, I could feel Alice studying me every few minutes, and I couldn't help but wonder if I did actually fall asleep, would I wake up with a new make over? That thought alone was enough to keep anyone up at night. _

_As soon as I rolled over and began to sit up, Alice was at my side, staring at me with her wide, overly eager eyes. "Can't sleep?" she asked innocently._

"_Not really. I think I might go look for one of those dried fruit packets," I replied. The meals had become considerably smaller, and not nearly as good since my dad had arrived. _

"_Ok, good - I'm going to go see what Jasper's doing, then we'll meet back here and decide what you want to do next," she smiled at me, apparently thrilled at my lack of desire to sleep. _

**Chapter 10**:

As we stepped outside, Edward was waiting for me.

"Edward? What are you doing?" I asked.

"I heard you can't sleep," he replied, grinning crookedly at me. "So, I thought I'd accompany you to find that dried fruit. Your father's asleep for now, so it should be fine," he added, taking my hand in his.

Edward led me through the dark to the Jeep, where we were storing the pouches of dried food. As he retrieved one for me, he paused, then rolled his eyes. "Unbelievable," he muttered, his gaze shifting towards the area where the table was.

Curiosity getting the better of me, I followed his line of sight, squinting through the darkness. Then I heard a voice - Emmett.

"Hey, little buddy, did you find the crumbs I left for you? Pretty smart little guy, to follow them all the way here." Who was he talking to? Without realizing it, I crept forward, trying to get a closer look. Edward mirrored my movements, staying right by my side.

Emmett was leaning over the table, seemingly talking to a baby racoon, who was nibbling on small pieces of dried fruit. Just as he reached down to place more bits of food in front of the tiny animal, something jumped onto the table, and catapulted itself onto the back of Emmett's head. He jumped up in surprise, his hands flying to his head, trying to grasp hold of whatever was clawing away unsuccessfully at his impenetrable skin.

"The baby's mother," Edward murmured to me, before I even had the chance to ask.

"Agh - get off, get off, get off!" Emmett yelled, spinning in circles. The mother racoon was hissing and spitting, clinging defensively to Emmett's hair. His uncontrolled actions caused him to bump into the table, which fell on it's side, creating a rather loud crashing sound. Almost instantly, the mother racoon leapt from Emmett's head, landing swiftly next to her baby, who had fallen to the ground when the table had tipped over. She checked her baby over for a moment, then nudged it in the direction of the woods, away from us. The two took off, with the mother only pausing once to look back, when she offered one last menacing hiss towards Emmett.

At some point during the fiasco, the rest of the Cullens had no doubt heard the commotion and joined us. They all stared on in disbelief, as Rosalie merely sighed and headed towards the Jeep again. She was only about halfway there, when Edward froze, and whispered intensely, "Charlie!"

At the mention of my father, everyone assumed 'casual' stances, some holding flashlights, others merely appearing to look around the campsite cautiously, directing their gazes into the woods, or up into the trees. A moment later, Charlie's confused face emerged from the front of his tent. "What's going on out there? Bella, why are you up - why are you _all_ up?" he asked confusedly, rubbing his eyes.

"Ah - we thought we heard an animal - just a racoon, nothing to worry about," Carlisle reassured him. "We were just chasing it off, go back to sleep, Charlie."

Charlie nodded, muttering something about light sleepers. Then he told me to get back to bed, and disappeared into his own tent, just before glaring at Edward, who reluctantly went to join him again.

"All right, everyone get back inside your tents," Esme scolded. Rosalie began to continue over to the Jeep, but Esme interrupted her, telling her she could remove whatever she wanted to later. Once back inside, I tried to settle into the blankets again. After half an hour, I sat up, unable to fall asleep because of a new problem.

"What is it, Bella? Do you need something?" Esme asked, concerned.

"Actually, I need to use the restroom. I didn't really go earlier - I was waiting so I could use the real bathroom," I admitted sheepishly. Everyone had pretended to head off into the woods before bed, making it appear as though we were all emptying our bladders one last time for the night, except for Charlie, who I presumed had actually gone.

"I'll take you!" Alice chirped. She jumped up and was waiting by the front of the tent before I could pull the covers back.

When we stepped outside, Edward was waiting. "I'll take her, Alice. Go back inside, Charlie's already fallen back asleep."

"No, Edward - you can't go. You have to stay close enough so that if Charlie wakes up again - and he will - that you can get back in there and pretend to be sleeping. If you aren't there, he'll come looking for you, and if you and Bella are missing, well...he won't be happy," she said, grinning at him.

The two of them argued back and forth for a few moments, but Alice eventually won. Edward had to stay nearby, so that he would be able to keep up the charade, and get back inside his tent if needed; her vision had confirmed that Charlie was indeed paranoid, and that he would be an unusually light sleeper tonight, waking up off and on to check on Edward's whereabouts. Edward was beyond irritated. We both knew what a sound sleeper Charlie typically was, and Edward hadn't anticipated this. Alice told him it was his own fault, for hanging all over me all night, even after Emmett's comment, not to mention the way he'd carried me off to bed - that had only made it worse.

"Guys? Can you continue this argument later? I really need to..." I trailed off, my voice pleading. My bladder was about to burst.

"Oh! Of course, Bella - let's go," Alice answered, giving Edward one last reproachful look.

"Hurry back, love," Edward murmured, his voice full of anxiety.

When we finally reached the little yellow building, I darted up the steps, once again ridiculously thankful for this luxury of a building.

Alice was waiting patiently outside for me. I started to head back in the direction we'd come from, but Alice stopped me, turning me the opposite way. "Forgive me, Bella, but I refuse to spend all night sitting in that tent. It's just too much. May I?" she asked, reaching her arms out toward me.

Oh - she wanted to carry me? How far were we going, exactly? "Alice, I don't know...Edward is expecting us back."

"Edward will be just fine - he's not going anywhere, Bella," she replied impatiently. I gave in, and she pulled me up into her arms, then began running. I couldn't tell how far we'd gone, but finally, we began to slow. In the distance, I heard pulsing music, and as my vision came back into focus, I noticed faint, flashing lights ahead. That was odd; we were still in the middle of the forest.

Alice put me down, and excitedly began bouncing forward, pulling me along with her. We were approaching what appeared to be a series of caves, one of which seemed to be the source of the noise, as well as the lights.

"Come on, Bella," Alice urged. I was moving more slowly, trying to take in my surroundings. When we rounded one last corner, and I took in the scene in front of me, my jaw dropped open, and I froze in astonishment.

"Alice, what on earth?" I managed, still struggling to comprehend what I was looking at. One of the caves was lit up brightly, lanterns dispersed throughout, with the disco ball from the dance party the night before somehow hanging from the cavern's ceiling. The carpet from the front of Esme and Carlisle's tent was now in place along the cave's floor, with the overstuffed pillows and giant bean bags from the other's campsites strewn about. The loud beat of the music drowned out the hum of the generators, which were in place near the far wall of the cave. They were responsible for the powering of the fridge, freezer and microwave, which were located just past the 'lounge area.' Racks of clothing served as a dividing curtain, blocking off the back part of the cave, which I only assumed the rest of the discarded supplies had been hidden. To top it all off, Jasper and Emmett were stretched out across the plush pillows, arguing over the Nintendo DS.

Wordlessly, I continued to stare at Alice, which merely caused her to roll her eyes. "What, Bella? This is what I was doing this afternoon, while you were all fishing. I just knew we'd have so much more fun this way - who wants to be stuck in a tent all night with nothing to do?" she trilled, as if it were obvious.

"But why are _they_ here - how did they know? Edward's going to be really mad," I mumbled incoherently, pointing at Jasper and Emmett. Surely, Edward would be livid when he discovered he was stuck back at the campsite, while we were all here.

"Oh, he's not happy, that's for sure," Jasper murmured, barely glancing up.

"Yeah - he's pretty pissed, but so is Rosalie. She wouldn't even come with us," Emmett replied, shaking his head. "Bet she'll be sorry after she has to listen to him complain all night," he added.

Alice further explained that she had told Jasper to meet us earlier, and when he had gotten ready to leave, Carlisle practically insisted Emmett go as well - he was worried about Emmett causing more of a commotion which would wake Charlie up again. Edward had heard the entire exchange, and was furious that he had to stay at the campsite in case Charlie woke up. Rosalie wouldn't come out of the tent at all, because she was still mad at Emmett for his earlier antics.

It made me feel bad, knowing how much Edward was probably worrying about me. As if to confirm my guilt, seconds later, Alice's cell started ringing. It was Edward, demanding Alice bring me back, to which she adamantly refused. She told him he should be happy that I was more comfortable, and had access to all the good food again. They argued on for a few minutes, but I had become distracted at her mention of the food, and quickly found myself looking over the contents of the freezer.

After having microwaved one of the frozen pizzas, I was feeling much better about my current situation as I lounged across the overstuffed pillows, greedily stuffing my face. Alice had somehow managed to get off the phone, and was currently dancing around the room, perfectly in synch with the pulsing rhythm coming from the stereo.

With my stomach full from eating something far better than a piece of fish, I was just beginning to relax, when suddenly Alice gracefully landed next to me, with some sort of huge binder in her lap.

"Bella, since we're here, and there's not much else to do, I was thinking it would be the perfect time to sort through some of those wedding plans," she explained excitedly, shoving the binder halfway onto my lap. Oh, crap.

The hours dragged on, as Alice covered detail after detail. Honestly, I didn't even understand half of what she was talking about - I just nodded and smiled, wishing the nightmare to be over. She had just jumped up, declaring it was time for the bridesmaid's dress selection fashion show, when Emmett decided to speak up as well. Thank goodness for Emmett. Really, who brings bridesmaids dresses on a camping trip anyway? It unnerved me slightly at how long ago she must have had them made - Alice wouldn't have bought them off the rack.

"All right, I'm bored," Emmett announced. "Hey Jasper, want to go cliff diving again? There's a new set of cliffs over to the right out there - I saw them on the way here."

Jasper looked up from his game, shrugging. "Doesn't matter to me," he answered indifferently.

"Yeah! Let's go," Emmett said, getting onto his feet.

"Wait - can we go too?" I asked, eager to escape Alice's wedding binder.

"You're not jumping, Bella - Edward would never forgive me," Alice said seriously.

"Fine, I won't jump, but can we at least go just for something to do?" I asked, refusing to give up without a fight.

Alice glanced over at Jasper, and she was obviously weighing out her desire to spend time with her husband in contrast to her excitement over the bridesmaid dress fashion show. As her gaze lingered on Jasper for a second longer than the clothing racks, I sensed victory. "All right, we can go with them - but I'm serious, no jumping, Bella," she added. Before exiting the cave, Alice turned and grabbed the binder, muttering something about still having enough time in the night to go over floral arrangement options. Her efforts to get me away from Edward were becoming clearer by the second, as she continued on with her explanation of details that did not matter to me - he would have protected me from this.

Moments later, we'd found the cliffs Emmett had mentioned, and upon further inspection, Emmett and Jasper chose a suitable place to jump from that had another deep pool of water at it's base. One after the other, they flew from the top, spiraling into the depths below. Alice and I stood in the shadows of the trees, as she pointed animatedly at something on one of the pages of the binder, waiting for them to scale their way back up the sides of the cliffs, while I simply nodded my head at whatever she was suggesting. Honestly, it was too dark to see anything very clearly anyway, despite the tiny key chain flashlight she was holding. After a few minutes, the guys reappeared. Alice went to give Jasper a 'welcome back kiss,' passing the precious wedding binder into my hands.

"That was amazing! Way better than the other ones," Emmett boomed, shaking his hair of excess water. Jasper was right behind him, an exhilarated smile stretched across his features as he embraced his wife. At least someone was having fun. Frowning slightly, I sunk down to the ground, still holding the ridiculous binder. The longer it was out of Alice's hands, the better.

"Actually, we saw the coolest thing on the way back up," Emmett began, his eyes glowing mischievously. Alice's gaze blurred, as she focused on her vision. Before she could snap out of it, Emmett was pulling me from the forest floor, up into his arms. "Hold on, Bella!" he yelled, rushing forward.

"Emmett, no!" Alice's dainty voice objected distantly, too late.

As I tried to understand what was happening, I found myself clinging to Emmett, his arms wrapped securely around me, holding me in place, the stupid binder still tucked in my arms. We were sliding down the side of the mountain, through a soft trail of mud. The path twisted and turned, and Emmett continued sliding on his backside, as if he were a sled. Mud flew up on both sides of us, as the mudslide continued on, the only sound registering being Emmett's booming laugh. A moment later, we landed in a shallow pool of murky water at the bottom of the path. Once we were still, and Emmett was sure I had my balance, he let me go, waiting for my response. We were both covered in mud from head to toe, and as I looked into my soon to be brother-in-law's eyes, I couldn't help but see the hilarity of the situation. Sure, I'd been halfway terrified on the way down, but looking at him now, it was just too much. Simultaneously, we both erupted into crazed fits of laughter.

"That was _awesome_! You should have seen your face!" Emmett roared, lightly smacking me on the shoulder.

"Bella! Are you all right?" Alice asked, running over to us, with Jasper following behind. She was soaking wet now too - she must have jumped off the cliff after Emmett had grabbed me.

"She's fine, Alice - nobody ever lets her have any fun," Emmett muttered irritably.

"Emmett, that was so irresponsible! When I saw you deciding to do that, you purposefully acted before my vision was over - what if I'd seen something happen to her? You should have waited!"

Alice reprimanded.

"Like I said, she's fine, Alice," Emmett replied, rolling his eyes. "I wouldn't have let anything happen to my little sis - let it go, already."

"Fine, but it's your problem when Edward hears about it," Alice said, which in turn made Emmett look worried for a second, before he merely rolled his eyes again. "Oh!" she exclaimed, her gaze shifting to the muddy pool at my feet.

Oops. The precious wedding binder hadn't fared our trip down the mountain so well; it was lying open, face down, covered in icky mud. I must have let go of it at some point - I couldn't really remember, the whole thing had happened so fast. I tried to feel guilty, but instead felt slightly victorious...I had killed the evil binder. Trying my best to control my expression, I glanced back at Alice warily.

"Sorry, Alice. I don't know what happened..." I trailed off, a bit too much glee still present in my tone.

Her eyes narrowed, then she began to smirk. "Don't worry about it, Bella. These things happen. Thankfully, I've got two copies of it on my computer at home. We'll just start going over the details from the beginning when we get back," she said, blinking her eyes innocently at me. Evil little pixie.

In an effort to block out the horror that awaited me when we got back home, I turned to look at our surroundings. That mudslide thing was incredibly fun, and I wasn't going to let anything ruin it for me. "So, guys - how do we get back up?" I asked, still turning in circles, looking for some sort of path. I couldn't very well scale a wall quite like they could, after all.

Nobody responded. Instead, the only sounds to be heard were three separate gasps, followed by one highly annoyed sigh. "See, Emmett? What do you have to say now?" Alice said, pointing at my back.

Taking in each of their horrified expressions, my panic began to build. "What? What is it? What's wrong?" I asked, spinning in circles, much like a dog chasing it's own tail - it was useless, I couldn't see anything.

**A/N: *ducking* I know - cruel cliffhanger - sorry! Aw, don't be mad... Now for my favorite part of all - Review, review, review!! I want just as many as last time - yep, I'm getting greedy, but I think I should be allowed, since there's only one more chapter left (which I'll mention again is 99% finished, so the more of you that review, the faster it gets posted...mwuah ha ha ha). Now go on - write your thoughts down, or I'm telling Emmett to release his forest creatures in all of your houses. :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Whew - I've been trying to post this for a few days now, there's been something wrong with this site, and it hasn't let me. Nonetheless, the wait's over, and here's the last chapter! I just want to thank all of you for enjoying this story so much - it's made me so happy to read all the awesome reviews, which usually have me laughing hysterically. Also, I've had some people requesting a sequel, which I struggled with at first, because I didn't want it to be 'repetitive,' but, finally, I think I just may have come up with something... So, if you like this story, and want to read the sequel, make sure to add my to your Author's Alerts or something so you'll know (if) and when it comes out - I'm not making any guarantees, but I might give it a try. **

**Oh - and '_BellaAndAlice_' - I couldn't respond to your review, cause there wasn't a link, but you asked if I had written anything else - go to my profile for the links. Thanks!**

_(Previously):_

_In an effort to block out the horror that awaited me when we got back home, I turned to look at our surroundings. That mudslide thing was incredibly fun, and I wasn't going to let anything ruin it for me. "So, guys - how do we get back up?" I asked, still turning in circles, looking for some sort of path. I couldn't very well scale a wall quite like they could, after all._

_Nobody responded. Instead, the only sounds to be heard were three separate gasps, followed by one highly annoyed sigh. "See, Emmett? What do you have to say now?" Alice said, pointing at my back._

_Taking in each of their horrified expressions, my panic began to build. "What? What is it? What's wrong?" I asked, spinning in circles, much like a dog chasing it's own tail - it was useless, I couldn't see anything._

**Chapter 11**

**BPOV**

"Well, don't panic, but you have some...leeches attached to the backs of your arms, Bella," Alice explained regrettably.

"Don't _panic_?! Get them off of me!" I exclaimed, completely on the verge of freaking out, as I imagined the slimy, worm-like creatures stuck to my skin. Nobody moved.

"Well...that's not really a good idea," Alice began warily. When my pleading eyes met hers, she continued to explain. "First of all, Bella, you can't just grab them and pull them off - that would most likely result in leaving part of their head behind, which would cause you an infection. More importantly, when you do remove them, there will be some blood that escapes you, and for obvious reasons, that's just not an option right now," she explained, glancing over at her husband, who looked guilty. "Don't feel bad, Jasper - Emmett or I could very well have the same reaction, and it's best not to take any chances."

"So what the heck do I do? I don't want them on me!" I blurted, horrified.

"We'll just have to take you back to Carlisle - he's perfectly able to handle it," Alice said. "Get on Emmett's back, and he'll get you up the cliff, and while they change, I'll run you back to camp - we'll just change when we get there." Thankfully, she seemed to understand the urgency I felt.

Scaling up the side of the cliff on Emmett's back was terrifying, while at the same time oddly exhilarating. As were neared the top, I had to squeeze my eyes shut after catching a glimpse of the height we were at. I knew I was safe, but it was just so...unnatural, to be hanging off the side of such a steep cliff with no support other than the boulder of a vampire I was clinging to.

When Emmett and Jasper headed back to the caves to change, Alice carried me back in the direction of camp, insisting we stop at the lavatory to get the excess mud off of me. Although she understood my desperation to get the gross things off of me, she said it would be bad enough when Edward found out what had happened, and if I showed up covered in mud it would only make his reaction that much worse.

It was approaching dawn as we entered the campsite, and Edward was waiting for us outside his tent. I tried to look indifferent about my current situation, in hopes of keeping him from overreacting. His eyes darted from me to Alice, where they lingered for a moment, as he most likely dissected her thoughts to see exactly what had occurred. When a quiet growl of outrage rumbled in his throat my suspicions were proved to be true. Thankfully it wasn't loud enough for my dad to hear. Edward rushed to my side, pulling me away from Alice; he seemed overly agitated.

"Bella, love, are you all right? I've been so worried," he whispered, as he looked intently into my eyes. Then he abruptly changed course, and turned to Alice.

"What were you _thinking_? You never should have kept her out all night - did she even get to sleep? She's probably exhausted, Alice. None of you have any idea how to take care of her - Emmett will be lucky if I don't kill him myself," Edward hissed, causing Alice to merely roll her eyes.

"Edward, nothing horrible happened to her...well, nothing that can't be fixed," Alice replied, glaring back at him. "You know I'd never let anything happen to her. As for Emmett - well, you know how he is when he gets bored. Despite his careless actions, you know he wouldn't let any harm come to Bella either...actually, she seemed to have fun," she added quietly, then looked off over Edward's shoulder to the other tents.

Alice whispered Carlisle's name, so quietly I barely heard it, but of course Carlisle had no problem hearing her. He and Esme stepped out of one of the tents, and even Rosalie came out, curious to see what the problem was. When Alice pointed out my predicament, the others cringed, shaking their heads in sympathy, except for Edward, who continued to glower.

It was slightly humorous to me that they were all so repulsed by the leeches...I mean there were some obvious similarities in diets here, after all - yes, the Cullens are vegetarians, but they still drink blood, for goodness sake.

It was about that time when Emmett and Jasper reappeared at the campsite's edge. Instantly, Edward froze, then immediately began to seethe, as he stared straight at Emmett. Carlisle reached out, placing his hand in the middle of Edward's chest, and whispered something about my father. Edward relaxed slightly at the mention of Charlie, but he was clearly still furious.

The whole exchange made Rosalie sigh heavily. "Whatever, I'm just glad you're all back - you have no idea how annoying Edward has been all night. Between periods of pretending to be asleep, he kept coming in and bothering Esme and I every half hour, begging to be allowed to go find Bella. When he wasn't doing that, he was pacing outside our tent, muttering about Charlie's unusual restless sleeping habits of the night. Honestly, it was pathetic, and I'm just glad I don't have to listen to it anymore," she whispered irritably, before turning back to the confines of her tent. Her comments only made Edward growl, and pull me closer.

I managed to convince Edward that I needed to attend to my current attire, and after I had changed into some clean, dry clothes, Carlisle ordered everyone to distance themselves. He had me sit down on one of the chairs, leaning forward. Of course Edward refused, assuring Carlisle that he could handle it, and took his place next to me. After the others had disappeared into the tents, Carlisle began to rub salt above each of the lesions, which he said would cause the leeches to loosen their grip. The salt and the alcohol stung, making me wince. In response, Edward came even closer, and began rubbing circles on the back of my hand with his thumb.

One by one, the disgusting worms were plucked from my skin, and as each was removed, Carlisle tossed them into the low-burning embers of the fire. At the end of it all, he informed me there had been four of them, which only made me shudder more. He carefully cleaned the wounds with alcohol, and applied light bandages to catch any more escaping blood.

As I sighed, relieved that it was over, Edward squeezed my hand gently. "Are you all right? It's over - you did great, Bella." He reached his hand up to push the hair out of my eyes. He soothingly ran his hand through my hair, then suddenly froze. Warily, I raised my gaze to meet his. "What?" I whispered. What was it now? What else could really happen to me at this point?

Instead of answering me, he swept his hand back over my scalp, then closed his eyes while shaking his head, as if in defeat. After a second, he looked back up, his expression full of pity, then turned to Carlisle.

"Ticks," Edward murmured, raising his other hand to pinch the bridge of his nose.

What? Ticks? In my hair? Are you _kidding_ me? I started to panic; I'd heard about how those things burrow under your skin, and can be incredibly difficult to get out. Images of tiny parasites living under my skin flashed through my mind, and I think I started to hyperventilate.

"It seems that your blood is apparently irresistible to anything blood drinking. The mosquitos, the leeches, now ticks...I suppose if nothing else, it's nice to know it's not just me," Edward uttered, traces of sarcasm seeping through.

Carlisle sighed heavily, leaning back in his chair, as he rubbed his hands over his face. He stared at Edward, and after a moment, Edward nodded in response. Stupid silent communication.

Carlisle turned back to me, his expression full of sympathy, but it was mixed with something else - disbelief, maybe. "I'm sorry, Bella. Removing these may be uncomfortable." He instructed Edward to go and retrieve a bottle of mineral oil, cotton gauze, and a pair of tweezers.

I was just managing to get over the pain of the salt burning, and now we had to start all over again - wait. WAIT. Did he say 'these?'

"How many are there?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

Carlisle sighed again. "Edward said he felt three."

My eyes wide, I simply nodded at him in response, and waited for him to begin. Edward brought back the requested supplies, and Carlisle began by holding pieces of gauze drenched with mineral oil over the ticks, explaining that it would block their breathing and cause them to loosen their grip. After that worked successfully, he would grip them with the ends of the tweezers, and pull - once again, he disposed of them in the coals of the fire. He took care to clean the wounds, and finally it was over. I was about to get up and run before they could find any more hideous creatures on me, when Edward turned his head to the side, concentrating on something.

"Charlie's waking up," Edward informed us. Alice and Esme promptly reappeared, and settled in with us around the lingering embers of the campfire. Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper all remained in the tents; Emmett was most likely eager to avoid Edward for as long as he could.

As my dad emerged from his tent, he glanced around, his gaze warily resting on Edward.

"Good morning, Charlie. I just woke a half hour ago - I didn't want to disturb you," Edward said brightly, probably trying to ease whatever thoughts my dad was having. Esme and Carlisle cheerfully greeted him as well.

Turning his attention to me, my dad began to speak, then stopped as he took in my appearance. Sure, we'd gotten the mud off, but my hair was still soaking wet, and the bandages on the backs of my arms were painfully obvious new additions to my wardrobe. He raised his eyebrows at me. Thankfully, before I could say a word, Alice came to my rescue.

"Bella and I went for an early morning swim, and she just got some scratches while we were in the woods," she explained rationally. If it had been anyone else speaking, I'm not sure Charlie would have bought it, or let it go at that, but with the way Alice was smiling up at him, he seemed to accept it quite easily. Since when was I a swimmer at all - not to mention an early morning swimmer? I swear, Alice could convince my father of anything.

Esme offered Charlie some dried fruit packets, explaining the rest of them had already had theirs. Right.

"So, what's the plan for today? Any idea when you were planning on heading home?" Charlie asked, turning his attention to Carlisle.

The rest of us shifted our gazes to Carlisle as well, wondering exactly how long he was going to drag this charade out. Personally, I was wondering what the heck was going to attach itself to me next, which made me shudder again.

Carlisle sighed. "Actually, Charlie, I received a call this morning from the hospital. It seems they need me to return early, so we'll have to leave sometime this morning. I apologize," he added, looking remorseful.

He hadn't received any calls, or at least none that we'd heard of - was it possible that he was finally seeing the utter uselessness of this situation? Perhaps the last round of medical attention that had him fending of nature from draining me of blood had made him see reason. Huh. If that was all it took, I would have found the leeches and ticks on day one. Shuddering again, I decided maybe that wasn't entirely true. Either way, thank goodness, we were going home - soon.

Charlie didn't seem to mind, he was saying something about paperwork piling up. Not long after that, he gathered his things, and packed them back into his cruiser, before thanking all of the Cullens. Each member of the family made a ridiculous show of telling him how much fun they'd had, and how much they'd enjoyed the trip, except for Rosalie, who simply offered him a mix between a smile and a grimace. Coming from her, it was actually a fairly polite gesture. Before getting into his car, he wandered over to me.

"Bells...I can't tell you how proud I am of you for sticking with this. It shows me how tough you really are," he said quietly. He was embarrassed - we didn't express sentiments very often in our household.

In an effort to ease his discomfort, I smiled brightly at him. "I had fun, dad. Thanks for setting it up - I really did learn a lot," I added. I just wanted to make him happy.

It worked. He smiled hugely back at me, and threw his arm around my shoulders in a half-embrace. "See you at home, kid. You can take the night off from cooking, if you want - we can order pizza. You've earned it."

"Actually dad, I'd love to cook tonight - beef stroganoff sound ok?" It was his favorite. I was feeling oddly sentimental.

He nodded eagerly, waved again at everyone, at then he was gone. It wasn't a minute later that everyone started flurrying around, hurriedly packing everything up, eager to return to the comforts of finer living. Jasper and Emmett collected the things from the cave, then returned to help load everything else.

Once we were all packed up and settled into the Hummer, we were on our way, heading back home. After a few minutes, I glanced behind our vehicle at Emmett's Jeep, which Rosalie was driving, while Emmett sulked next to her. She was so mad, she wouldn't even let him drive.

"Edward, I'm sorry you never got the chance to get back at Emmett for that whole shaving cream incident with my dad," I murmured regrettably. I had been hoping we would have come up with a plan for revenge, but since I'd been off with Alice, Jasper, and Emmett all night, Edward and I hadn't had the chance to scheme.

Edward chuckled. "Who said I wasn't going to get him back? I had a lot of time to think last night, love."

I glanced up at him, confused. "What do you mean? We're already on our way home."

Edward glanced over his shoulder out the back window of the Hummer, still chuckling. Alice and Jasper were laughing quietly as well; clearly, she'd been clued into whatever he was planning on doing, and relayed that information to her husband. At least Carlisle and Esme seemed to be as clueless as I was.

"Bella, who's the one person Emmett is actually afraid of? The one person in this entire world who he doesn't want to anger?" Edward questioned, while he grinned crookedly at me.

"Rosalie?" I whispered back, still not understanding.

"Exactly," he answered simply, still grinning.

"Um...I still don't understand," I replied. This was beginning to get frustrating.

"Well, any minute now..." Edward trailed off, glancing behind him again. Alice and Jasper continued to laugh from the seats in front of us.

"Ah - turn around, love, and see for yourself," Edward finished.

Edward, Alice, Jasper and I all turned in our seats, watching the Jeep behind us. Carlisle was cautiously looking in the rearview mirror, while Esme simply shook her head, and leaned back into her seat, probably not even wanting to know what we were all about to see.

A moment later, the Jeep swerved sharply, then pulled off to the side of the road, coming to an abrupt stop. Carlisle took notice, and swiftly brought the Hummer to a halt to further examine the situation.

There was a lot of blonde hair whipping around, along with shouting, then suddenly, the side of the Jeep exploded, as Rosalie literally kicked Emmett out, sending the vehicle's door with him.

I darted a glance over at Edward, who merely nodded back in the direction of the Jeep. Rosalie was throwing something out of the Jeep - it looked a lot like the food packets from camp - yelling obscenities while she did it.

The force of her kick had thrown Emmett into the forest, where he had crashed into a tree. He was scurrying to his feet, his face full of confusion, when suddenly, his eyes narrowed, as his gaze lowered to the place where the passenger door used to be on his Jeep.

I leaned forward, trying to figure out what he was looking at. A second later, it became clear.

One by one, tiny forest animals were filing out of the Jeep, following the packets of food Rosalie had thrown out. There were squirrels, chipmunks, mice, rabbits, racoons, and who knew what else slowly hopping out of the vehicle, heading towards Emmett.

Amazed, I silently turned to Edward for an explanation. He met my gaze expectantly, grinning crookedly. "I took charge of packing the Jeep for a reason, Bella," he began. That's right - he had done that this morning, insisting the others help Alice load the top of the Hummer.

"Early this morning, when you were all gone, and Charlie was still sleeping, I rounded up quite the selection of critters, keeping them all in a box hidden in the forest. When I packed the Jeep, I put the box in the back, with blankets covering it. I made sure to toss the rest of the food packets in with the animals, taking care to leave a trail of food from the back, up towards the front seats. I also added some food in Emmett's jacket, just to be sure they'd find their way in the right direction," Edward explained. "Just before we left, I opened the top of the box, and added one last important addition," he added.

Carlisle sighed. "Perhaps we should let him in here with us. There's no way she's going to let him back in the Jeep," he said sympathetically.

"I'd rather not, as I'm sure you will all agree...what do you think made Rosalie stop in the first place?" he asked, glancing back towards the Jeep. The rest of us followed his gaze, uncertain.

Rosalie was leaning into the back of the vehicle, shaking blankets. A moment later, more screams of fury filled the quiet forest road.

The rest of us gasped as we saw the last animal jump from the open door of the Jeep. It was a skunk; that must have been the 'one last important addition' Edward had been referring to.

Shuddering, we all watched as Rosalie slammed down the accelerator, flying past us, with Emmett running along side the road, clutching the torn Jeep's door in his hands, pleading with his wife to stop. His cries of, "I didn't do it, I didn't do it!" filled the air, as we all sat in shocked silence.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen...." Esme whispered disapprovingly under her breath. As Edward, Alice, Jasper and I all broke into crazed fits of laughter, Carlisle began quietly muttering something about the impossibility of immortal teenagers, and having to stop to pick up a bulk supply of tomato juice.

It was only when I finally managed to catch my breath that I was able to speak. "So, when are we going camping again?" I asked Edward, still laughing in between words.

"Very funny, Bella," he replied, shaking his head.

"Aw, what are we going to do for fun?" I asked, my voice full of sarcasm. Heck, I'd be happy if I never saw the outdoors again.

He smiled back at me, my favorite crooked grin making another appearance. "Oh, I'm sure we'll think of something. With this family, is there really any doubt?"

**A/N: Ok, my favorite part - review, review, review!! If you don't, Emmett will lead all those animals (including the skunk - yikes) over in your direction!** **Thanks everyone!!!!**


	12. Awards Update and Notices

Hi everyone!! Me again – lol. I have some award updates and more award notifications for you. First, I'm so unbelievably happy to say that Cullen Family Camping Trip has made it into the final round of the Indie Twific Awards! Thank you so much for voting!! Now please go vote again, lol. Voting over there will started tonight and goes through July 29, so you've got 4 days to vote. Again, I really and truly appreciate it and am beyond flattered – thanks. The Razzle Dazzle Awards are still going on until July 31, so remember to vote there. Choices, Desperation, and Burned are all up at The Twilight Corner's Fanfiction Awards, and Cullen Family Camping Trip is up at The Silent Tear Awards. I will list all categories and links below. If you'd rather just click on the direct link, go to my profile page – I'll always have the updated award info there, along with the direct links.

Indie Twific Awards:

Cullen Family Camping Trip has made it through to the final round of voting. Vote from late on 7/22 – 7/29

Category: Best Use of Comedy, complete

Link: 

The Twilight Corner's Fanfiction Awards:

Choices: Best T Rated

Desperation: Best Collaboration

Burned: Best One-shot

Voting: July 18 – Aug. 3

Link: ./

The Silent Tear Awards:

Cullen Family Camping Trip: Best Humor

Voting: (has started) ends 9/1

Link: .com/

RazzleDazzleAwards,

Choices: "Best During the Series."

Voting is open until July 31.

Link: .

Thanks everyone, and sorry to bother you!! The sequel for Camping Trip should be up soon. 


	13. Sequel Link

The sequel is now up, you can find it here: (if you've already found it, disregard this notice)

Cullen Family Camping Trip II: Back to the Woods:

http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5245433/1/Cullen_Family_Camping_Trip_II_Back_to_the_Woods

(Or just go to my profile for the direct link).


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